I know it’s been a while. Shut it.

30 Comments

Yes, I know I’ve been remiss in updating the blog. It’s been a busy week, and I don’t have a gazillion co-bloggers like some much bigger, much better blogs. I keep opening the Dashboard, looking at the blank blog form, and deciding that a nap is a much better way to spend my time. Why? Because I’m spending 11-12 hours at the office each day. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, because it’s fun, but after a while your brain just shuts down, or decides it’s going to do a tap dance inside your skull, and the only way to calm it down is a hammer…

…or a nap.

I opt for the latter.

So what’s been going on?

Well, obviously there’s this whole economic warfare thing with Russia. After Russia “didn’t” sent troops to Ukraine, and “didn’t” do anything illegal with the signed law to annex Crimea, even though the Ukrainian Constitutional Court has ruled the independence vote was unconstitutional (as I said all along – Crimea did not have the legal authority to make a unilateral decision that affects the sovereignty and territorial integrity of the nation as a whole) and “didn’t” participate in some election fraud, the US rolled out some sanctions.

Many folks scoffed, claiming, “Meh. Only 29 people were sanctioned along with one bank,” but consider the consequences of sanctioning some of Putin’s closest and richest allies (look up Ozero collective on Wikipedia, if you don’t know what I’m talking about) and a pretty large bank. Result? Russian media reports that one of Putin’s pals – a guy named Kovalchuk (known as Putin’s banker), along with the bank is losing about 20 percent of his holdings (link is in Russian). Oh, and did we mention the Fitch and S&P downgrades of the Russian Federation? And the long lines at Rossyia’s ATMs?

Yeah.

Some may smirk at these measures, or stupidly call them an “act of war” (yeah, I’m talking to you, Ron Paul and the Paulbots), but that just shows an ignorant lack of understanding of what this listing does that I cannot even begin to address without getting frustrated at the utter stupidity of those claims, so I won’t.

What else has been going on?

Saw the new 300 movie last week. Decided that Sullivan Stapleton is incredibly hot.

Am going to see Wicked next month in Richmond with a high school buddy of mine, whom I just don’t get to see enough. It is my early Mother’s Day present.

I loved “The Walking Dead” last week, and for those who wail about it being “too far,” because children are dying… WHAT THE FLYING, SNIVELING HELL DO YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN DURING A REAL ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE (or more realistically, an outbreak of some kind of hideous disease)? Do you actually think children would be spared, because they’re… uh… children and cute? Do you think human nature, sociopaths, even dangerous “bad seed” children will cease to exist just because of the need to band together and help one another? Shut up and turn off the damn TV, Sparky!

Oh, yeah – and I don’t know where that damn plane is, OK? So stop asking.

What’s going on in Arlington? (UPDATED)

5 Comments

A friend of mine asked me that very question today when I posted on Facebook that I came home to find our trash container missing.

Yeah… really gross, smelly container into which we deposit our trash, and which is collected weekly on Thursdays.  It was put out on the curb last night. This morning it was still there when I left for work. When the Redhead came home and was walking Tucker, he noticed that our trash container was MIA.

I called the County, and explained the situation carefully. After all, this can’t possibly be a common occurrence, right? I mean, why the hell is there a demand for trash containers? They’re big, clumsy, plastic and stinky. I didn’t want the lady at the County to think I was nuts when I reported that someone had stolen our trash container.

Well, apparently, she didn’t think so at all, because it’s not a rare thing in Arlington. She very calmly informed me that we would have a new container next week, and this is not uncommon at all. It happens a lot.

Um… what?

There were a few bags of fresh Tucker poo in there. Tucker is a 183 lb. Saint Bernard. His poo is generally the size of smallish cattle. Good luck with that.

Welcome to Arlington – where your trash containers are fair game!

And then there’s the public masturbators!

Yeah, you heard me right. Apparently some guys aren’t satisfied with simply wacking their puds at home, so they’ve made it a public hobby.

Since August, there have been several public masturbating incidents.

Some dipshit was wacking it outside a Clarendon salon just last week.

Another one decided to choke the chicken at a laundromat.

And then there was the one with the shoes

And Dirty Sanchez… yes, I really did go there.

This seriously is a great place to live. I swear!

CRITICAL UPDATE: the errant trash bin has returned. Don’t ask me how or why, but it’s back. Someone dumped the empty bin into our front yard yesterday, making me think that the trash pick up guys took the damn thing for a joy ride. No matter. It’s back from its walkabout, and it’s no worse for the wear.

Now, if we could only take the public masturbators for a ride somewhere and leave them there!

Really Random Reflections

16 Comments

Last night at the debate, Newt curbstomped CNN moderator John King about his question regarding the allegations of the ex.  “To take an ex-wife and make it two days before the primary, a significant question in a presidential campaign, is as close to despicable as anything I can imagine.”  I wonder… does that include fucking your mistress in the bed you share with your wife?

I wonder if my cats spend the day hiding vomit, hairballs and turds in strategic places all around my house while I’m at work. Cats do that. They’re evil.

Rob and I are going back to Vegas in May for what may become our annual vacation. No, we are not getting married.

Bacon. Want.

Rat Lungworm” disease sounds gross.  He got it while learning about organic farming.

The lungworm parasite lives in rats and comes out in their droppings. A slug in Hawaii eats the parasite and that same slug lays its eggs on fruits and vegetables. Eating some produce that wasn’t washed is likely how he got the parasite.

I’ll take pesticides, thanks.

The Russians have frozen about $6 billion in their federal budget as a rainy day fund in case there’s a global economic crisis.  Zero and Congress have spent three times that as I was typing this line.

The Russians are also mulling banning cash transactions for major purchases.  Only credit will be allowed. They claim this will foster transparency. Nothing to see here, citizen.

I had a debate with a friend once about furries: is it a harmless hobby or a weird substitute for animal fetishes? And really… who would actually want to fuck a squirrel?

Is it me?

14 Comments

Am I being overly sensitive lately, or has the world really turned into something hideous?

I mean, it feels like it’s raining down crap!

I know I should be grateful for what I have – wonderful friends, a terrific boyfriend, best kids I could ever hope for, a career that is so rewarding, I actually LOVE coming to work every morning, house, car, cats, parents, an awesome credit score… I’m grateful for all that. Really.

But all the good stuff in my life seems to be this huge umbrella that is keeping me clean as the shit storm comes down.

A legendary Penn State football coach is caught in the shower raping a kid. A KID! A child! And then proclaims his innocence and says that “maybe” he shouldn’t have showered with children. WTF? Why?

Zero squanders an opportunity to help create real jobs in the United States and to help increase our energy supply, so we’re not paying ridiculous amounts of money just to be able to get to work every morning. WTF? Why?

Parents are actually soliciting germs from strangers in order to infect their children in an effort to create a “natural immunity” to preventable diseases! Disease! From people they don’t know!  WTF?  Why?

Filthy hippies are infesting our cities. They don’t have a purpose. Some of them don’t even know what they’re protesting. Many of them are making demands that are so ludicrous, that they should be laughed off the national stage! Instead they’re being given media time, even as many of them demand that your earnings be stolen and given to them, and your hard work be appropriated and redistributed. They’re bringing filth, disease, crime and violence with them. WTF?

A good friend, who lives healthy, who is young and productive and vibrant and sweet, got cancer. Bad cancer (not that there’s any such thing as “good” cancer) that will prevent her from ever having children of her own – something that was important to her – and is making her go through hellish chemo. Why? I don’t get it. With no family history and low risk factors, how does someone like that get afflicted with something so horrible? She’s a fighter, and she’ll kick cancer’s ass. But I still don’t get it.

Another person, who I thought was a good friend, just cut off all communication with me. I tried to ask why. Several times. To no avail. No reply. Not even an acknowledgment. I have to assume it’s something I said or did, because this person is not the type to just toss a friendship. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’ve been wrong for several years. Maybe I’m a horrid judge of character.  I don’t get that either.

I can’t get over the fact that the pool of candidates for President is so pathetic for next year. I also can’t believe the massive corruption in Congress that goes unaddressed by the majority of voters. I can’t believe people are actually considering voting for Newt, who despite being smart, is also an odious prick who’s left two sick wives for other women, who spent time on Nancy Pelosi’s envirowacko couch, who was for individual health care mandates before he was against them… How is this possible?

Europe is on the verge of collapse.  So is our economy.  Nothing is getting better, and I anticipate it will get worse before it gets better. I’m pessimistic.

I’m pessimistic about a lot of things.

Just venting.

 

Animal weirdness

2 Comments

Maybe it’s just that kind of month. October started not so well.  The irresponsible, cowardly, dishonorable piece of festering shit that was renting my house abandoned the home and his lease with two days’ notice, leaving nearly $1000 worth of damage, and has so far refused to provide a forwarding address.

I found ants in my kitchen, and even after having bleached the entire place, the little fuckers still manage to somehow invade my home.  Bug bomb is next, followed by… hell, I don’t know… a Claymore?

And now this.

Armadillos are invading DC. And it’s apparently all the fault of global warming… uh… climate change.

Climate change is the culprit, reports the Daily Climate Web site, citing biologists’ claims that the armadillo’s northward expansion can be attributed to a warming atmosphere.

Yep. Climate change is also responsible for genital warts, hemorrhoids, rain, sun, thunder, lightning, wind, spider bites, cavities, toe jam, athlete’s foot and herpes.

And to add insult to injury, we now have a squirrel in Britain with manhood that would make Ron Jeremy blush… well… maybe not.

I think it might be armageddon!  Or PhotoShop.

Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: