Adam Smith apologizes


So the aftermath of Adam Smith’s little YouTube drama against Chick-Fil-A employee Rachel is a tearful Internet apology, according to the UK’s Daily Mail.

Revealing that he tried to say sorry in person to the staff member called Rachel at the Tucson drive-thru Chick-fil-A franchise, Adam Smith took the opportunity during his video to reaffirm his support of gay rights.

Of course, he did. Because you can’t possibly just say sorry to the kid. You have to stick your politics back into it. But OK, aside from that…

Rachel, I am so very sorry for the way I spoke to you on Wednesday,’ said Smith in his video which has been viewed over 300 times.

‘You handled my frustrating rant with such dignity and composure.

‘Every time I watch the video I’m blown away by, really the beauty in what you did, in your kindness and your patience with me.’

‘You should know that I never planned to say the things I said to you that day, and how I said them,’ explained Smith.

‘I planned to peacefully participate in the August 1st YouTube post where Jackson Pearce asked people to simply order a large water to show support for the gay community.

‘But when I got to your window, after seeing all the people in and outside the restaurant that came to support Chick-fil-A, I lost it.

‘I just lost it. I couldn’t believe the number of people came out to support a corporation that associates themselves with anti-gay groups, like Exodus International and the American Family Association.

‘And how did I lose it? By making you listen to my frustration and disgust. It wasn’t right, and for that I am so sorry.’

He goes on to explain that he went over to the restaurant to apologize and check on how she was doing, and that he understands why she wouldn’t speak to him. Here’s the rest of the video, so you can judge for yourself the sincerity of the apology.


I won’t say what I think of the video or whether or not I judge it to be sincere. Frankly, it’s not my place to forgive or to judge its truthfulness.

I did, however, find intriguing and interesting the portion of the video where he talks about looking at Rachel as “collateral damage” in this grand battle against Chick-Fil-A, so I thought I’d address this.

In our battle for whatever it is we’re passionate about, we tend to dehumanize our enemy. This has psychologically been true throughout history, whether in war or in civil rights battles. Dehumanizing the enemy, calling  them names, forgetting their identities, makes them easier to kill. In this case, treating Rachel as part of the “problem,” instead of a live human girl merely trying to make a living, made it easier for Adam Smith to slay the “enemy” that was Chick-Fil-A – a corporation whose head donated millions to odious groups such as Exodus International, which actually tries to “cure the gay” with conversion therapy. Rachel at that moment represented all that is odious about groups such as Exodus and Focus on the Family. She wasn’t a young person trying to earn a paycheck, but part of an evil corporation that funds organizations that work to bring religious fundamentalism into the mainstream.

So he attacked her, harassed her and publicly berated her – and he felt GOOD about it, because he stood up to the evil corporation, not bullied a young girl.

It’s easy to do. I do it all the time. The original title of this blog post was “Douchebag apologizes.” I changed the title, because I realized that Douchebag had a name and an identity, and no matter how much of an asshole he was to Rachel, at least he did the grownup thing and apologized.

I don’t know if he did so, because he didn’t want to get fired, which he did anyway.

I don’t know if part of the reason was that he understood how difficult it would be for him to find another job, with his name plastered all over the Internet as the jackass who abused a kid.

I don’t know if he did it because he didn’t want his young children to look at him with derision when they were old enough to understand what he did. The Internets is forever, after all!

I don’t know why he apologized, but I’m glad he did.

When we start looking at our enemies as objects of hate instead of idiot human beings with faults, we lose a bit of our righteousness.

My new future wife


It’s Friday, and I don’t feel like blogging much, but I feel I need to share this.

I have found my future wife. I’m totally in love with this chick. Her name is Kira Davis She is awesome in every way. So instead of blogging why I love her, I encourage you to listen to her.

Oh… and if she’s already spoken for, I nominate her for President. I don’t care which party.

Talent… right here

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The Redhead has a Twitter account. He and his friends seem to like the brief, goofy way to build their online networks.

Yes, I’m aware of the dangers.

Yes, I monitor the account.

No, you may not tell me that I’m wrong letting my 14-year-old boy have a Twitter account. He’s responsible. He’s honorable. He’s honest. He’s got common sense.

That’s not what this blog entry is about.

A few days ago, the Redhead got a new follower on Twitter. This guy.

It’s rare that I’ll actually find a gem on Al Gore’s Interwebz, but this time, the gem found my son.

The guy is a poet. No, he’s not a rapper. He’s an actual poet, and he’s TERRIFIC!

Not only is he an exceptional writer, but he performs said poetry in a very clean style, with no frills and no contrived “ghetto” speech. Just him and the rhythmic music of his words.

The first poem I listened to is called “Nerd.” It’s emotional. It’s raw. It’s touching.  It’s something that a lot of us felt as awkward kids in our schools.  Hell, I have, and I can relate.  A simple reading evokes empathy and a certain amount of guilt, because you can’t protect the kid in this poem.  Do yourselves a favor and watch the reading “Nerd.” It’s a couple of minutes out of your day, but I guarantee you will walk away feeling it was a few minutes well-spent.

His poetry is beautifully rhythmical and well written.  It’s both touching and professional. It’s emotional by its very nature, but also because of the straight, clean, beautiful reading performed by one courageous young man.

In a world where talentless pop-bots like Rebecca Black churn out irritatingly unbearable pseudo-music that makes me want to throw my computer through a wall, this young man shines with the striking elegance of his words.

Thanks, Darrell. You’ve made my night, and given me hope for your generation.

Bad things you find on the Interwebz *spit take alert*


So as I was writing the story about the masturbation class below, I was looking for an example of bad modern art on the web, using my Google-fu as a weapon. I wanted to demonstrate what an actual orgasm depiction would look like in art form, but I couldn’t find anything even remotely appropriate. Hence my statement that a proper pictoral depiction of an orgasm would be “something that’s drawn by a blind, somewhat spastic toddler who hasn’t taken his Ritalin. On an etch-a-sketch.  In the dark.”

I did, however, run across the following Craigslist ad in my Interwebz travels.  Appropriately, it came up in an image search for “bad abstract art.”

For Sale – beautiful pink “vagina couch” that I made in art school and no longer have space for. The couch is large: measures 5′ 3″ long, 3′ 3″ wide at the middle, and stands 2′ 3″ tall (and is heavy like a couch). The pics are from my portfolio and are several years old; as a result, the couch has some scuffmarks and stains around the bottom from being moved, but otherwise is in excellent shape. A professional upholsterer helped me build the couch, so it is also functional and durable as a piece of furniture. The couch must be picked up in Mendocino, a 3-hour drive north of SF. I am asking for $600 and a loving home! Call Willow at [deleted] or reply to posting.

You can’t make this stuff up! Seriously!  Please tell me who in the world would want to pay $600 for a large, satin vagina that swallows you whole?

And when you’re finished contemplating the sheer horror of the thing (it actually sort of reminds me of the plant in Little Shop of Horrors), imagine a small ginger kid sitting inside this vagina couch, much like the woman who designed is doing in the above photo!

My son was sitting next to me, and I showed him this ad.  His reaction was, “OH. MY. GAWD. I. WANT. ONE!”

I can only assume he meant the couch, not a giant vaj.  That would be awkward.  Small-ish redheaded child swallowed by giant, puffy female genitalia.

Moral of the story…

Oh hell, I don’t know.

Don’t let your son shoulder surf while you’re looking for bad art.

Don’t open links entitled “Pink, Upholstered Vagina Couch.”

Ensure your son understands that 1) you will not purchase him a $600 vagina couch, no matter how much he pleads and 2) you don’t sit inside female genitalia.

Damn you, Interwebz!

Extra special foul swine


In general, Internet scammers are the lowest form of swine. They prey on the weak – often the elderly and frightened – as well as desperate, lonely people looking for friendship, love and some sort of connection in this relatively new online world. They promise love, riches and a future, and many people, anxious to find an easy solution to their desperate situation fall for their scams.

I normally like to mess with these losers.  As a general rule, they’re not particularly smart.  They pretend to be lawyers, doctors, Americans stranded in third-world shitholes and other such despairing souls.  They use piss poor English, even as they claim to be professionals.  They use goofy email addresses – some as simple as Yahoo! mail – others a bit more sophisticated, but still discernible as frauds to anyone with an IQ above room temperature and a cursory knowledge of the Internet.  And because they’re generally not smart, they’re easily manipulated, their minds clouded by their greed and dreams of riches at the expense of their stupid American victims.

Ergo, it becomes somewhat of a silly game to see what it is you can make them do with just a mere promise of a payout. 

A few years ago, I was contacted by some toerag from some African shithole, claiming to be a desperate American woman, dying of AIDS in Africa, who was trying to find a suitable home for her two children, who would be orphaned sooner than later as her condition went from bad to worse.  Being the parent of two adopted kids, I was immediately intrigued and appalled by the gall of this bastard, and decided to play a little game with him.  Over the course of two weeks, I led him to an inevitable Internet demise, but not before obtaining his signature on a “contract” that forced him to do unspeakable things to monkeys.  Luckily, my friend, author Michael Z. Williamson meticulously documented the exchange and posted it on his website as an example of the twisted company he keeps.

How twisted?  Well, you can read for yourself.  But just to give you a taste, I got the scammer to send me a copy of his “passport”…

And I got him to sign a contract stating the following…

  • Sucking the penis of a hairy rhesus monkey
  • Getting large objects shoved up your ass and getting sexually abused with whips and chains
  • Giving me a large sum of money – however much I want

Yes, I actually got a scammer to agree to send ME money, and in the end, I explained to him exactly with whom he was dealing and what he had agreed to do for me.

Does anyone really ever fall for the “I’m a poor widow with AIDS and Iwant you to adopt my children and take my fortune” scam? If they do,they must be even more stupid than you are, and that’s quite anaccomplishment, I have to tell you!

See, no person IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would give up her children to astranger over the internet after contacting them through email. Younever know what kind of pervert or scumbag would grab your children andsell them into sexual slavery for three bucks. And no person with evenhalf a brain would actually transfer money to some greedy dickwad posingas a lawyer whose knowledge of the language is so bad, he wouldactually sign a contract that compels him to suck off a monkey. Butmaybe you like that kind of stuff — I don’t know.

Over the years, there have been others who have done similar things to Nigerian scammers.  This guy in particular was very adept at it.  But as in everything else in life, the scammers adapted. They changed their tactics and targeted different prey: lonely women looking for dates on the Internet.

A few weeks ago, I received an email from a reader requesting my help in convincing her mother that the guy she was having an online romance with was a scammer and a fraud.  This lonely lady had already sent him a laptop, but as usual, the requests for gifts didn’t stop there.  I warned the daughter that her mother was playing a dangerous game with someone who claimed to be a United States Soldier.

No, I’m not even kidding. 

These fetid boils on the ass of humanity are now pretending to be US troops overseas in Iraq or Afghanistan, playing on the sympathies and patriotic emotions of lonely women, and scamming them out of time, money and gifts. 

They would e-mail each other for days. He sent romantic poems and even provided pictures, but when he asked her for money, she knew she had been sucked into a scam.

First, she noticed red flags, like the poor English he used. “Some of the words were not spelled correctly; the use of grammar was not totally there,” she added.

She said the second red flag were his so-called needs. “He kept mentioning that they didn’t have access to funds at the base,” she said.

Finally, she grew even more suspicious when he asked her to send money so he could purchase a satellite phone to stay in touch.

Personally, I can imagine nothing lower. 

We all love our troops – courageous service members who sacrifice everything to protect our freedoms, who deploy to dangerous areas, far away from their friends and loved ones.  Combine these feelings of affection and trust for our military with an aching loneliness and desire to find someone to love, and you have a perfect recipe for scammer prey.

So please take this blog post as a warning and tell single women you know to look for red flags.  I do realize sites like and eHarmony and a whole host of others that have popped up in recent years are the new bar scene of the millennium, and they have brought numerous couples together and helped them find happiness in one another. These sites are no worse or better than the bars scene, but whereas you can look someone in the eyes in a bar and sometimes tell if they’re being deceptive or if they just give you the wrong vibe, no such thing can be discerned on the Internet.

These “Soldiers” are NOT Soldiers, people!  Even in the crappiest shithole, we still have access to money and communications!  No official military address ends with a .com or a .us.  Keep your wits about you if you’re communicating with someone online, and don’t let them fool you into believing you’re supporting United States service members.  You’re not.  You’re supporting the foulest of swine who have no problem taking advantage of your love and respect for the military and your desire to find a soulmate.

And while I on occasion have my fun messing with the scammers, these are the types who do not deserve even the slightest bit of hope or fun.  When they start impersonating American heroes in order to take advantage of lonely women, the only thing they deserve is a metal chair to the face and a stint in a Nigerian prison getting cluefucked by diseased criminals.

Do us all a favor and pass this on as a warning. 

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