Setting The Record Straight On Immigration

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Longtime readers of this blog know our views on illegal immigrants and immigration and border security. That said, there’s been some sentiment on the immigration issue lately in the Virginia righty blogosphere that I feel compelled to respond to. I wasn’t one of those offended by the (in)famous Super Bowl commercial featuring America the Beautiful sung in various languages, but Jim Bowden makes some very salient points otherwise about borders, culture, and the rise and fall of nations nonetheless.  On the other side of the ledger, many who should know better are rushing to the defense of the GOP establishment and their immigration ‘principles’ that came out of the GOP House retreat late last month.

Particularly galling at Bearing Drift today is the repeated use of the word ‘nativist’ to describe those of us who actually expect immigration laws to be enforced. In this same post, Shaun Kenney, whom I nearly always agree with otherwise, decries caricaturing of illegal immigrants using a graphic, and then does the exact same thing to those of us who demand border security and the rule of law, using a graphic of the memorable Bill “The Butcher” Cutting character, played by Daniel Day-Lewis, from the film Gangs of New York. We also apparently are demanding draconian violations of civil liberties and the rounding up of the 12 to 15 million illegals come hell or high water… News to me. He advocates for amnesty, well, because it’s mean to expect these poor, innocent illegal immigrants to show some respect for our laws and sovereignty. Oh, and the Catholic Church, represented on this issue by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, wants amnesty, so for some reason that should settle it. I think not. Come on, Shaun, you’re better than that. That is the height of hypocrisy. And please, people, quit conflating legal and illegal immigration.

Over at Virginia Virtucon, a post is up taking Dave Brat, a candidate for U.S. House in the 7th District, to task for questioning the incumbent, Majority Leader Eric Cantor, on immigration, because Brat demands immigration laws be enforced, while opposing Obamacare. The author has the nerve to suggest it’s hypocritical because Obamacare is the “law of the land”. Respectfully, this is political weaselry at best. The Affordable Care Act is only in force because John Roberts chose to place his concern for the ‘reputation of the SCOTUS’ (or something) above the plain language of the Constitution. Even left-wing SCOTUS watchers were amazed that he sided with the four liberal justices. No one has ever credibly suggested that immigration and border security laws are unconstitutional.  Such a comparison is ridiculous on its face. Add to this that Brat would seek repeal of the Affordable Care Act should he be elected, and the attacks come off as even more patently ridiculous. Factor in that Cantor himself said on the House floor less than two weeks ago that “immigration reform could be an economic boon to this country” and it’s easy to see why conservatives are suspicious of Cantor, Bob Goodlatte, and House leadership on immigration issues.

Want to win the trust of conservatives on these issues? Enforce the law and secure the border. Once that’s done, then, and ONLY then, will we be interested in discussing immigration reform. The visa and immigration system is certainly broken, by over a century of lobbying by every industry, racial interest group, religious denomination and labor group imaginable, and cries out for repair. But just like the amnesty Reagan signed in the 80s, the business lobby will team up with others to prevent any meaningful enforcement, and this time we have an administration ulterior political motives to look the other way already. No amnesty, and no reform until enforcement. Learn it, practice it, earn it.

The Republicans have just ensured they will not get my vote

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As many of you know, I’m an immigrant. I’m an immigrant who came to this country with her parents. I am an American. My family came here legally, waited the required time, filled out all the paperwork and finally became American citizens in 1986.

My parents and I waited in Italy for more than a month for permission to enter the United States. We had to get family already in America to vouch for us – that we weren’t going to mooch off the taxpayers, that we were going to look for employment, that we weren’t criminals… you name it, we had to guarantee it. My parents had to go into debt and pay an organization $3000 to help them fill out paperwork properly to enter this country.

We followed the law. We worked.  We achieved the American dream.

Now we have roughly 11 million people in this county who did the exact opposite. They enter illegally. They use our infrastructure – hospitals, schools, water, electricity… They work for low wages. They squirt out anchor kids in order to stay in this country. They demand the “right” to stay in a country they entered illegally, and many times they commit voter fraud and other crimes. They elect those who give them the most free shit, and the politicians are only too happy to do so, because they’re simply expanding their voter base.

And now, Republicans hoping to capitalize on the whole “If you give us free shit, we’ll give you our vote” phenomenon, are planning to allow these people, who are here illegally, not just to stay, but to legalize them – to allow them to remain.

And that will ensure I will not give any of them my vote. Ever.

Now, look. I’m not against immigration. This nation was built by people who came here for the opportunities to succeed and achieve – to work hard and to earn. I get that. That’s what my parents wanted for themselves and for me when they left their home country and set out for a strange nation. If you have an employer who is willing to hire you – regardless of profession – go for it!  If you want to come here and pick fruit, sweep streets, milk cows or run a computer firm, you should be able to do so. I don’t believe in employment quotas. I think if one can get a job here, they should work here. Get a letter from your employer, showing intent to hire you. Pay your own way. Don’t live off others. Wait the required amount of time. Learn the language. Pass the citizenship exam IN ENGLISH. Don’t demand bilingual drivers’ exams, government services, etc. And welcome to America.

But don’t sneak here illegally, work under the table, burden our infrastructure, and shit where you sleep by turning the neighborhood into a festering pit of crap like the one from which you escaped. Obey the laws of this nation. Don’t like them? Become a citizen LEGALLY and work to change them. Don’t demand the “right” to be here, and claim a love for this nation, when your very first act was to violate its laws!

Fact is we are a nation of taxpayers. This is our home. You come into our house and make yourself at home without permission, and you have no rights. You have no right to stay. Sorry. Nope. Do not come into my house and claim the “right” to be here. That’s not the way it works! And no politician has the right to put a figurative gun to my head and tell me that you can come on in, settle in my home and I have to like it.

My libertarian friends will claim that everyone has the freedom of movement. That’s true, but not into my bloody home! They will claim that if we just reform the welfare state, many of these mooches won’t have incentive to come here, and what we will get is people who truly want to work and succeed, and who come here for opportunities they cannot get elsewhere. That’s true, but in the name of Zeus’ right testicle, reform the system first before you start to allow millions of mooches into the country!

And certainly don’t reward them with citizenship for violating the law!

Additionally, whether you like it or not, there is a national security component to the border issue. Like it or not, there are bad people out there. Like it or not, there are people out there who want to kill Americans. And like it or not, evil exists. I don’t want to hear how it’s our own fault that there are those in this world who hate us! It’s our fault, because our foreign policy is interventionist. It’s our fault, because we pour money into terrorist states. I’ve heard it all, and whether you’re right or not is beside the point. Evil exists. Bad people exist. And despite any cause for their existence that you might want to pull out of your ass, they are out there., and there’s no common sense reason to open up the borders and allow them free entry without so much as a look into their background.

So yeah, mine may not be a libertarian position, but it’s a common sense one.

If you insist that you have the “right” to remain here after you snuck inside our borders…

If you demand government services in your native language without so much as an effort to learn English…

If you turn your new home into a roach-infested shithole…

If you use schools,, hospitals, energy and water without paying for them, because all that cash getting is going right back to your shithole of origin…

If you claim the right to this nation without respecting her laws…

You shouldn’t be here at all! Leave!

And as for the GOP, you want to pander to illegal alien votes? Don’t expect my vote. Ever.

Terrorists among us?

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In 2011, Waad Ramadan Alwan and Mohanad Shareef Hammadi were arrested by the FBI for terror-related activities, including planning to attack targets in the United States and sending weapons to extremists in Iraq. Alwan was apparently allowed in the United States as a refugee of the Iraq war. How did he get here? Apparently, he wasn’t the only one.

Several dozen suspected terrorist bombmakers, including some believed to have targeted American troops, may have mistakenly been allowed to move to the United States as war refugees, according to FBI agents investigating the remnants of roadside bombs recovered from Iraq and Afghanistan.

The discovery in 2009 of two al Qaeda-Iraq terrorists living as refugees in Bowling Green, Kentucky — who later admitted in court that they’d attacked U.S. soldiers in Iraq — prompted the bureau to assign hundreds of specialists to an around-the-clock effort aimed at checking its archive of 100,000 improvised explosive devices collected in the war zones, known as IEDs, for other suspected terrorists’ fingerprints.

[...]

An ABC News investigation of the flawed U.S. refugee screening system, which was overhauled two years ago, showed that Alwan was mistakenly allowed into the U.S. and resettled in the leafy southern town of Bowling Green, Kentucky, a city of 60,000 which is home to Western Kentucky University and near the Army’s Fort Knox and Fort Campbell. Alwan and another Iraqi refugee, Mohanad Shareef Hammadi, 26, were resettled in Bowling Green even though both had been detained during the war by Iraqi authorities, according to federal prosecutors.

The story goes on to assure us that the majority of Iraqi war refugees living here today are harmless, law abiding citizens. OK, let’s say I believe it. How many more are still here who are extremists and potential terrorists?  The FBI got two. Two. Worse yet, Alwan lived on the taxpayer dime, in public housing and on public assistance. All while planning attacks on Americans. How many more are here, living on public assistance, playing on the sympathies of the authorities, making up horror stories about their lives to gain entry to the United States?

Yes, the vast majority may be peaceful, but even one terrorist is too much. Two is too much. How many more?

The FBI acted on a tip when it began pursuing Alwan and Hammadi, and the nation lucked out. The article assures us that our screening techniques are being continuously improved. But again, I ask: how many more are already here?

And what about the civil war in Syria? Refugees are already pouring into neighboring nations from Syria, bringing diseases such as polio into nations that allow them to escape the crisis in their homeland.  More than 2.2 million Syrians have already registered as refugees, according to the United Nations. So far, they’re headed to Turkey, Iraq, Lebanon, Egypt and Jordan. But the numbers are growing. How long before they begin to seek asylum in the West? In the United States? Al Jazeera reports that the United States has taken in only about 90 Syrian refugees so far. And the pressure is mounting for us to take in more.

Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) has an answer.

“About six months ago I organized a letter to the secretary of the Department of Homeland security – to grant humanitarian parole to about 6,000 Syrians who are trying to be reunited with their families here in the United States.” He says it’s something we can do to help with the refugee problem, “obviously just a small piece, given there are millions of refugees. But here’s an opportunity for us to do our part.”

With the humanitarian crisis mounting in Syria, do we honestly believe that there are no extremists and terrorists in the refugees’ midst? With all the suffering and confusion, would it really be so difficult for a terrorist to meld in with the thousands of people leaving their country? How long before pressure on the State Department results in a flood of refugees entering this country?

And what about the mounting pressure to grant amnesty to millions of illegal aliens living in this country? How many of them could be just waiting to attack this nation?

Probably not a lot. But it wouldn’t take a lot, now would it?

Traveling

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So I just arrived in Germany. I’m staying outside Munich for a night, and then hopping a train to Garmisch for a month’s worth of school. I know… rough life I got here.

I’ll be posting pretty pictures when the mood strikes me, but mostly I intend on being a nerd and studying.

But school doesn’t start until Monday, so I have a few days to screw around and do nothing.

First order of business is sleep. I will do that as soon as I post this entry.

United Airlines sucks. I’ve said this numerous times, because of numerous screw ups, but I’ll say it again. United Airlines sucks. This time they experienced a nearly 5 hour delay! So I was stuck at the airport for four hours, and on the runway for another 45 minutes or so until we took off. The good news was that the flight wasn’t even remotely full, and I had an entire row to myself to stretch out, which I did. I slept, albeit uncomfortably, almost the entire flight, and caused myself to miss the culinary adventure that is airplane dinner. Luckily, I overdosed on crabcakes and bloody marys before the flight, so the last taste in my mouth wasn’t what passes for food on airlines nowadays!

Now there will be a shower. And sleep. And maybe lunch.

Or sleep.

Interesting note – I took an Uber on my way to the airport yesterday. If you don’t know what an Uber is, it would behoove you to find out and immediately demand that this amazing company expand to your city! Uber is a tech company that affiliates itself with private drivers, who will pick you up anywhere you happen to be and take you to your destination of choice. You have a credit card on file with Uber. They charge the card directly after you are done with your trip. There’s no tip, and no cash changes hands. The drivers are polite and clean, and so are the vehicles, which range from black sedans (mine was a Mercedes yesterday) to SUVs. Depending on time of day, it’s a bit more expensive than a taxi, but not overwhelmingly so. Well worth the extra few bucks. The company also asks you to give feedback on your ride and your driver, and if you give anything less than four stars, they will get in touch with you and ensure they put things right, including giving you credits on your next ride. This is a phenomenal service, which forced taxi companies to actually improve their service to compete, prompting them to try and destroy Uber via their influence in the corrupt DC City Council. They failed. Fuckers.

But enough of the Uber commercial. The driver and I chatted the entire way. The driver came to this country 13 years ago from Cairo, Egypt, where he was born. He did his degree in engineering at a university in Rome, Italy. He spoke flawless English, taught at James Madison University, and also speaks Arabic, Italian an Spanish. After leaving his teaching job, he came back to DC and started his affiliation with Uber. He did not demand special services or telephone recordings in Arabic. He didn’t demand benefits or amnesty. He came here with marketable skills, worked, learned English from scratch (I was absolutely stunned at how perfect his English was, and he told me he didn’t know a word of it when he first came to this country in 2000), and got his citizenship. Gee… an immigrant coming here legally and attaining his dreams the old fashioned way, without demanding special dispensations. What a novel concept!

He also told me he was appalled at the administration’s policies after the coup in Egypt. He admitted he voted for Barack Obama, but that he is absolutely disgusted with his foreign policy, and with McCain and other RINO scum who are insisting on continued financial aid and support to Egypt after the coup. He was happy the Muslim Brotherhood was kicked in the nuts. He told me he’s absolutely positive they’re terrorists and couldn’t believe that having attained 51 percent of the vote entitled them to destroy secularism, dissent and religions other than Islam in Egypt.  Kind of like the 52 percent… uh… nevermind. We discussed economics for a while too, and he asked me whose economic policies were worse, Bush’s or Obama’s. I explained they were equally bad. Bush started this stimulus, bailout spending crap. Obama took it to a new level. Both were bad. I explained why. He was very thoughtful and thanked me for the explanation.

I like immigrants.

Smart ones. Ones who have something to offer this country. Not ones who come here expecting this country to offer them something for their mere smelly presence.

OK. Off to take a shower. I smell like plane.

 

Immigration Bill Pork

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This travesty of a bill passed the Senate yesterday, with concessions made to tons of different lobbies. Not only does it allow millions of people whose first act in this country was to take a shit on its sovereignty, but it’s also filled with pork and special programs that will once again cost Americans billions we already can’t afford and provisions meant to bribe Republicans into voting for this travesty.

Adds $1.5 billion to President Obama’s failed jobs stimulus, a gift to socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont.

Turns the Travel Promotion Act, which was supposed to end in 2015, into a permanent program at a cost of hundreds of millions of dollars. Prime beneficiaries? Las Vegas casino interests, a gift to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada.

Makes a range of serious crimes for which U.S. citizens can be arrested and imprisoned — including assault and battery, drunk driving and tax fraud — “waivable” for illegal immigrants when it comes to their amnesty status.

Gives Alaskan “Seafood processing” jobs special status as “shortage occupations,” letting those industries hire low-skilled illegal immigrants to fill “temporary” jobs, a bipartisan favor to Alaska Sens. Mark Begich (Democrat) and Lisa Murkowski (Republican).

This is how politicians do business these days. They simply stuff proposals for which they suspect they don’t have enough votes with our money, and bribe legislative swine into supporting their bills. With our money.  Those of you who complained about the variety of enticements that made ObamaCare a reality, such as the bribe to Mary Landrieu and Ben Nelson using our tax dollars, well, this immigration disaster is no different.

Spending? Fuck it.

Deficit? What deficit?

Debt out of control? So the hell what?

The new measures tacked on to the Corker-Hoeven deal were designed to help secure broad support for the compromise amendment in the Senate, where it passed Wednesday by 69-29. At the heart of the compromise: Adding nearly 20,000 federal law-enforcement agents to the Southwestern border to address Republican concerns about curbing illegal immigration.

As for securing the border, I don’t trust them. They tossed more money at border agents and technology meant to secure our borders, but it all will be for naught if the Border Patrol is required to release the illegals soon after they’re caught, because Congress is busy spending our money on the special interests that get them elected, and we have no money to retain the criminals who cross our borders.

And once again I have to remind you Republicans how you humped my leg in 2008, beating me up about “wasting my vote” by voting Libertarian instead of putting that shriveled old bag of noxious crap McCain in the White House.

Happy now?

 

And the Hits Just Keep on Coming

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Now, the heinous monster of that immigration bill includes Obama’s jobs “stimulus” program, according to the Examiner.

In order to appease socialist Bernie Sanders, who demanded that the bill add measures to create jobs for young people who will be displaced by illegal aliens in the job market. It would provide $1.5 billion in the next two years to provide jobs for Americans between the ages of 16 and 24. Sanders says the bill would damage youth job prospects. Ergo, we must spend yet more money to “create” jobs for young people who will be displaced by illegal aliens, who will receive legal status as long as they don’t commit crimes (unless they get a waiver), get a job or go to school (unless they get a waiver), provide documentation that they pay taxes (unless they can’t) and pay penalties (unless they can’t afford them).

According to Sanders, each state would receive a minimum of $7.5 million to run a summer jobs program for young people in 2014 and 2015. States with high youth unemployment would receive a lot more. Many of the bill’s provisions are based on President Obama’s American Jobs Act, which Congress never passed. Sanders claims it would be paid for by “imposing a temporary $10 fee on employers who hire guest workers and international workers who receive green cards.”

That’s how you get legisleeches on board. Bribe them with tacking on their pet measures that had no hope of passing Congress to begin with.

And I’m betting the vast majority still hasn’t read it.

 

Immigration Reform Bill – Reform… Unless Not (WITH CRITICAL UPDATE)

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I decided to plow through this monster this morning after a cup of yummy French Roast coffee. I didn’t want to read about it; I wanted to read the legislation itself, because I like to make my own judgments about this infamous bill for which McCain, Rubio and other illegal alien fellaters betray this country.

For those of you who want to read this 1,922- page beast, have at it. You will need Adobe Reader and some Excedrin to get through it. And maybe some tequila.

I won’t go through the entire nearly 2000 page document, because I value your sanity (and mine), and because it would likely take me as long as a PhD dissertation. Instead, I’m merely going to point out some of the more problematic portions of this bill, and I’ll let you decide how you want to proceed.

Generally speaking, I have no problem with immigrants – immigrants who come here legally, meet the requirements, live off the products of their own labor, rather than the general benefits provided by this country at taxpayer expense, learn English and do not demand government services in their home language, costing the taxpayer yet more money.

I am an immigrant. My parents came here legally with nearly nothing in their pockets. We struggled to learn English for the first year, and my parents worked menial jobs – jobs that most Americans would find distasteful and beneath them. But they worked those jobs anyway – both of them with graduate degrees in engineering – because they knew that eventually they would do better.

So lest someone accuse me of being anti-immigrant, you can stick it up your asses. I’m no such thing.

I am, however, against implementing a convoluted piece of legislation to “reform” our broken immigration system, if it costs America a small fortune, and does nothing to actually reform our broken immigration system.

That’s exactly what this bill is – a waste of time and resources that won’t fix anything, and certainly will not turn the Hispanic tide to the GOP, like the clueless party leadership hopes it will. No matter what the Republicans do, they will never get an overwhelming percentage of the Hispanic vote. Sorry, GOP, but you’re idiots if you believe you can pander your way into the hearts of Hispanics. Ain’t going to happen. Hispanics prefer Democrats 2-1, and your amnesty proposals for illegals won’t change that. In 1986, Ronald Reagan gave amnesty to millions of illegals. In 1988, Hispanics gave the GOP 30 percent of their vote.

So what is it that makes the current crop of RINO dimwits think that giving amnesty to millions of illegal aliens will result in anything different?

Worse yet, what makes the current crop of RINO dimwits think that couching S.744 as somehow tough on requirements for legalization of illegal aliens will go unnoticed?

Let’s start with these supposedly “stringent” migration deterrent measures that are part of this alleged “improvement” to border security. They’re no such thing.

For instance:

In any migration deterrence program carried out at a border, the Secretary and cooperating entities shall for each apprehended individual—
(A) as soon as practicable after such individual is apprehended—
(i) inquire as to whether the apprehended individual is—
(I) a parent, legal guardian, or primary caregiver of a child; or
(II) traveling with a spouse or child; and
(ii) ascertain whether repatriation of the apprehended individual presents any humanitarian concern or concern related to such individual’s physical safety; and
(B) ensure that, with respect to a decision related to the repatriation or referral for prosecution of the apprehended individual, due consideration is given—
(i) to the best interests of such individual’s child, if any;
(ii) to family unity whenever possible; and
(iii) to other public interest factors, including humanitarian concerns and concerns related to the apprehended individual’s physical safety.

The way I’m translating this is that apprehended illegal aliens at the border will be deterred and turned back from entering, unless…

…they have kids with them, and unless…

…they have another sob story.

So, they will be prevented from entering, unless…

…they’re not.

Well, that clears it up!

This bill is chock full of such wishy-washy directives.

The physical presence requirement (p.943) – the alien must be physically present in the United States on the date on which the alien submits an application for registered provisional immigrant status, and will not meet the requirements for application for said status, unless…

… the absences are brief, casual, and innocent (well, there’s an objective criterion… NOT!). And it doesn’t even whether or not these absences were authorized.

In other words, you must be physically present in the US, unless you’re not.

Oh, and by the way, being a criminal doesn’t automatically preclude you from applying for the registered provisional immigrant status. You’re allowed to have committed three misdemeanors before you’re precluded…

…unless you get a waiver.

And  by the way, the victims of the crime committed by illegal aliens don’t really have a say in whether or not the criminal illegal alien is allowed to apply for registered provisional immigrant status. The government must notify them (p.957), and the victims can protest. But the illegal alien is given legal status ultimately at the discretion of the government.

‘‘(D) CRIME VICTIMS’ RIGHTS TO NOTICE
14 AND CONSULTATION.—Prior to applying, or exercising, any authority under this paragraph, or ruling upon an application allowed under subparagraph (C) the Secretary shall—
(i) determine whether or not an alien described under subparagraph (B) or (C) has a conviction for any criminal offense;
(ii) in consultation with the agency that prosecuted the criminal offense under clause (i), if the agency, in the sole discretion of the agency, is willing to cooperate with the Secretary, make all reasonable efforts to identify each victim of a crime for which an alien determined to be a criminal under clause (i) has a conviction;
(iii) in consultation with the agency that prosecuted the criminal offense under clause (i), if the agency, in the sole discretion of the agency, is willing to cooperate with  the Secretary, make all reasonable efforts to provide each victim identified under clause (ii) with written notice that the alien is being considered for a waiver under this paragraph, specifying in such notice that the victim may—
     (I) take no further action;
     (II) request written notification by the Secretary of any subsequent application for waiver filed by the criminal alien under this paragraph and of the final determination of the Secretary regarding such application; or
     (III) not later than 60 days after the date on which the victim receives written notice under this clause, request a consultation with the Secretary relating to whether the application of the offender should be granted and if the victim cannot be located or if no response is received from the victim within the designated time period, the Secretary shall proceed with adjudication of the application; and
(iv) at the request of a victim under clause (iii), consult with the victim to determine whether or not the Secretary should, in the case of an alien who is determined under clause (i) to have a conviction for any criminal offense, exercise waiver authority for an alien described under subparagraph (B), or grant the application of an alien described under subparagraph (C).

(E) CRIME VICTIMS’ RIGHT TO INTERVENTION.—In addition to the victim notification and consultation provided for in subparagraph (D), the Secretary shall allow the victim of a criminal alien described under subparagraph (B) or (C) to request consultation regarding, or notice of, any application for waiver filed by the criminal alien under this paragraph, including the final determination of the Secretary regarding such application.

So a felon illegal alien is not eligible to receive legal status, unless the government grants a waiver, and notifies the victim of the alien’s felony that the felon is about to be granted amnesty. And if the victim objects… well… the government has the final determination anyway.

An illegal alien’s application status can be denied (I’m sure that makes you feel lots better), unless…

…the alien files an amended application (p.974)

The illegal alien will pay fees, unless…

…the government determines a fee reduction or waiver (p.996).

Illegal aliens will pay taxes and file all proper paperwork with the IRS, unless…

…they don’t have the proper paperwork, in which case they can file any of the following (all very impossible to forge, I’m sure):

(I) bank records;
(II) business records;
(III) employer records;
(IV) records of a labor union, day labor center, or organization that assists workers in employment;
(V) sworn affidavits from nonrelatives who have direct knowledge of the alien’s work or education, that contain—
      (aa) the name, address, and telephone number of the affiant;
      (bb) the nature and duration of the relationship between the affiant and the alien; and
      (cc) other verification or information;
Hey, buddy! I’ll give you $20 to sign this paper saying that I’m working real hard at a legally obtained job and tell the feds that you’ve been my friend for years!
(VI) remittance records; and
(VII) school records from institutions described in subparagraph (D).

Yes, you must be working and/or going to school to be eligible for registered provisional immigrant status, unless…

…you’re not.

If you’re under the age of 21 or over the age of 60, if you’re… um… slow or mentally challenged, if you are “disabled,” if you’re a dependent, if you’re on maternity leave, or have a kid and are the primary caretaker, or “unable to work due to circumstances outside the control of the alien” (how many people do you know who will admit that their unemployment is their own fault?), you’re apparently excepted (p.991).

And you must learn English (p.992)…

…unless you can’t (p.993).

Did you oppose the DREAM Act? Too bad. This bill will make it a reality starting on page 999.

Don’t want your taxpayer dollars going to private organizations that will help illegals stay here? Too bad (p.1021). These private organizations will now receive government grants (translation: your money).

And don’t forget the tons of concessions to “agricultural workers,” to include granting of permanent residence after 5 years if they prove they’ve been working not less than 100 work days of agricultural employment during each of 5 years…

…unless they weren’t.

Pregnancy, injury, severe weather, or termination of employment through no fault of their own and the inability to find another agricultural job are all exceptions to the rule.

They also have to have paid taxes and a $400 fee to the government…

…unless the government limits said fees, and it has the authority to do so.

And if employers who were hiring migrant workers think they can now have lots of cheap labor with the legalization of these illegal aliens…

…they’d better think again.

They’re required to provide benefits, such as insurance and housing. And the minimum wages mandated to be paid to agricultural workers under this law (p.1116) will dwarf nearly any state minimum wage law, as well as the federal minimum wage law of $7.25 per hour.

‘‘(3) DETERMINATION OF WAGE RATE.— ‘‘(A) CALENDAR YEARS 2014 THROUGH 2016.
—The wage rate under this subparagraph for calendar years 2014 through 2016 shall be the higher of—
(i) the applicable Federal, State, or local minimum wage; or
(ii)(I) for the category described in paragraph (2)(A)(iii)—
     (aa) $9.37 for calendar year 2014;
     (bb) $9.60 for calendar year 2015; and
     (cc) $9.84 for calendar year 2016;
(II) for the category described in paragraph (2)(A)(iv)—
     (aa) $11.30 for calendar year 2014;
     (bb) $11.58 for calendar year 2015; and
     (cc) $11.87 for calendar year 2016;
(III) for the category described in paragraph (2)(A)(v)—
     (aa) $9.17 for calendar year 2014;
     (bb) $9.40 for calendar year 2015; and
     (cc) $9.64 for calendar year 2016; and
(IV) for the category described in paragraph (2)(A)(vi)—
     (aa) $10.82 for calendar year 2014;
     (bb) $11.09 for calendar year 2015; and
     (cc) $11.37 for calendar year 2016.
(B) SUBSEQUENT YEARS.—The Secretary shall increase the hourly wage rates set forth in clauses (i) through (iv) of subparagraph (A), for each calendar year after the calendar years described in subparagraph (A) by an amount equal to—
     (i) 1.5 percent, if the percentage increase in the Employment Cost Index for wages and salaries during the previous calendar year, as calculated by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, is less than 1.5 percent;
     (ii) the percentage increase in such Employment Cost Index, if such percentage increase is between 1.5 percent and 2.5 percent, inclusive; or
     (iii) 2.5 percent, if such percentage increase is greater than 2.5 percent.

Now, let’s look at this from a free market perspective.

People come here illegally and earn what any of us would consider a paltry salary. This is good for both employers and employees. The employers get cheap labor that allows them to sell products at prices we all find appealing. The immigrant – even though his salary is petty compared to those of us in skilled jobs – will still get a higher salary than he would have ever gotten in his home country! Why would he even  come here if the pay was worse than in his country of origin, right?

With the passage of this legislation, the employers will no longer be allowed to pay paltry wages. They will be required to provide housing and benefits and wages that are higher than the minimum wage requirements in any state in this country.

Do you think they will keep more of these illegal alien workers if it’s going to cost them more to employ them, or less?

Do you think the result will be cheaper apples, or more expensive ones?

Do you think some of these employers will let these illegal alien workers go, if it becomes to expensive to employ them?

And do you think that the illegal aliens who have lost their jobs “through no fault of their own” will be able to apply for registered provisional immigrant status despite not having a job and paying taxes? You bet your ass they will!

In other words, the radio ads you hear about this bill imposing strict rules on illegal aliens about working, about paying taxes, about learning English, about going to the back of the line, about increased border security are a crock.

This bill provides comprehensive immigration reform…

…unless it doesn’t.

UPDATE: Thank you to commenter Rikkisan for pointing me to this critical video. You need to watch it, and you need to understand how bad this bill is actually is. In it, DC Caller’s Ginny Thomas interviews Former New York lieutenant governor Betsy McCaughey, who has also read this bill and who has many of the same concerns as I do, but focuses on more security-related problems in this bill.

Please, PLEASE follow the link and watch this video!

It’s as if Ms. McCaughey and I share a brain!!!

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