Please let me get off the crazy bus!

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What is it they always say? Never discuss politics or religion on the first date, right? I generally violate both these rules on a near daily basis on this blog, because, well, it’s my blog, and I can.

I’ve never let anyone who may be easily butthurt alter my course, because, well, it’s my blog.

And I’ve never shied away from calling out every frothing fundamentalist fruitcake of any stripe and stomping on their petty little feelings. That includes froth-flecked atheists who get chafed labia at the very sight of a cross or the sound of a prayer and frenzied fucktards who leave fake tips to spread the message of GAWD to some poor schmuck of a waiter who makes $2.50/hour.

Lately, dealing with house and financial issues, I’ve blogged about little else. Been kind of preoccupied, ya know?

But my buddy Chris knows just what it takes to bring me back on track (frankly, I suspect he simply wants to see my head explode at frothing fundamentalist fruitcake insanity), so he refers me to this – ostensibly satanic symbols on a school bus, or fucking brake lights to those of us who are somewhat grounded in reality.

Robyn Wilkins snapped a photo when she noticed the shape of an upside down, five-pointed star outlined in the brake lights of a school bus that was stopped in Cordova.

“Anyone who fears a God, if not God and Jesus Christ, should be outraged,” Wilkins said.

She says Christians should be outraged that a symbol that looks like a pentagram would be allowed in the design of a vehicle used to transport children to public schools.

I wish this was The Onion, but it’s not. This drooling fuck weasel is actually outraged at this.

star

See? This is why we can’t have nice things.

Now, most of us normal critters simply look at the brake lights and say, “Oh! The bus is stopping. We should probably do the same.”

The more creative of us will say, “Hey look! Little stars on the brake lights. Cute!”

But screeching fundatards, who have nothing better to do with their time, will immediately fly into a froth-flecked rage over a simple design and claim it’s some kind of a subliminal satanic symbol.

This particular simple-minded crackpot says Christians should be offended that their children are being transported to school in a bus that has Pagan symbols on it! I suppose her twat is also chafed at the fact that the five-pointed star is also a symbol of Christianity associated with the birth Jesus Christ when the wise men followed a star toward Jerusalem in search of the new-born King, and from there to Bethlehem – to the very location where Jesus was born. The original pentagram (sans circle) was used to represent the five wounds of Jesus, the five senses, the five joys that Mary had of Jesus, and the five virtues of knighthood. And the upside-down star appeared on an LDS temple in Illinois. I don’t think anyone can accuse Mormons of not fearing God or Jesus Christ!

FriezeDetail

It wasn’t even until the 19th century that all of a sudden an occult author and “magician” decided to ascribe evil to the inverted star! So this drooling nimrod is offended by a symbol that wasn’t even considered “evil” until an occult writer grabbed a hold of it and declared it so! Ferpetessake!

In other words, the star, pentagram, or whatever you want to call it has been around for ages, and it amuses me (or disgusts me) to see ignorami glom onto a “definition” created by a “magician,” whom they would normally shun as yet another devil worshiping heathen, in order to drool their outrage.

But most of all, it’s just an innocent design – at least to those of us who aren’t FUCKING CRAZY and looking for something to get offended about!

You want to be outraged? Be outraged about a Christian pastor being imprisoned and beaten in Iran! Be outraged at the Islamic State threatening to kill Christians if they don’t convert! Be outraged at Christian prosecution in Laos. Be outraged at any number of outrages going on in the world against all sorts of people!

But this?

This ass-chapping retardery that somehow became a news story over a stupid break light?

Someone needs a hobby.

How much of a dick do you have to be to have even al Q’aida condemn you as a dick?

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AFP reports today that the Assholes of al Q’aida were less than pleased with the Taliban slaughter of 149 people, mostly children, in a Peshawar, Pakistan school.

“Our hearts are bursting with pain and grief over this incident,” Osama Mehmood, spokesman for Al-Qaeda South Asia chapter said in a four-page emailed statement.

“There is no doubt that the list of crimes and atrocities of the Pakistani army has crossed the limit and it is true that this army is ahead of everyone in America’s slavery and genocide of Muslims… but it does not mean that we should seek revenge from oppressed Muslims,” Mehmood said.

“The guns that we have taken up against Allah’s enemy America and its pet rulers and slave army should not be aimed towards children, women and our Muslim people,” he added.

How cute and touching. One set of savages condemning another set of savages for being savages. These are the savages who were responsible for the murder of thousands of Americans, including innocent women and children on those airplanes on 9-11.  These are the savages who condemned those who supported Malala Yousafzai – the young girl who was shot by Taliban savages for daring to get an education!

For the record, I don’t believe al Q’aida assholes for a minute that their hearts are breaking. They have no hearts. They have bile and evil, but no hearts. So fuck ’em.

But really, how much of an asshole do you have to be to have these assholes condemn your actions?

Isn’t this only slightly unconstitutional?

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Hey, Alabama? Requiring teachers to lead kids in Christian prayer in public schools is… um… unconstitutional.

By way of a voice vote, the House Education Policy Committee passed a bill that would require teachers to recite Christian prayers in public schools every day, even though the majority of members did not vote for it.

The bill, sponsored by Rep. Steve Hurst, R-Munford, would require teachers to spend no more than 15 minutes in the first class of each day to read, verbatim, opening prayers said before a meeting of the U.S. House of Representatives or the U.S. Senate.

Rep. Mary Sue McClurkin, R-Indian Springs, chairwoman of the committee, said she heard more votes in favor of the bill.

“It’s what I heard as chairman,” she said.

Yeah, I’m sure that’s what you “heard as chairman,” but it’s still unconstitutional.

Look, I’m a pretty open minded kind of female. I have no problem with kids having their own little prayer groups, or learning about any religion in a public school. Fact is religion is a part of our culture and history, and to pretend it’s not there by not teaching kids about it is quite frankly stupid.

But notice I said, “teaching them ABOUT religion,” and not “teaching them religion.” There’s a difference.

I have no problem learning the history of different faiths, what they worship, how they worship, what they believe, etc. It’s knowledge, frothing atheist zealots. Get over it! It’s part of history. It’s part of geography. It’s part of current events. You can’t pretend religion doesn’t exist, and knowledge about the different faiths out there is important.

That said…

Forcing. Kids. To. Pray. Is. UNCONSTITUTIONAL.

Period.

You don’t need a degree in constitutional law to understand that!

The First Amendment prohibits the government from establishing a national religion. It is incorporated, so that states have to abide by it as well. Schools receive local, state and federal money. Ergo, they cannot impose Christian, Jewish, Wiccan, Buddhist, Muslim, Rastafarian, Pastafarian or Scientolog… ical (I hesitate to even use the word “logical” in that particular description of Scientology) prayers on kids.

A teacher is in a position of authority over kids. What do you think is going to happen when a teacher leads a mandated Christian prayer session in the classroom? Think there’s no element of coercion? Please!

When the Redhead was 11 years old, he went to a middle school in rural Virginia. He attended a DARE program taught by a local sheriff’s deputy. The Redhead really enjoyed the class. They played games, discussed the dangers of drugs, etc. One day, the Redhead brought home a pamphlet that this particular deputy handed to all the kids in his class. On its surface, it looked like a bunch of optical illusions and puzzles. However, a closer look revealed that it was a publication by these Living Waters freaks.

The pamphlet used puzzles and games to scare kids into accepting Jesus. It told them they could die at any moment, and if they did anything bad like lie in their lives, they were going to hell, unless… they accepted Jesus right fucking now! It told the kids they were sinners. It told them that hell awaits them all, because they were all inherently bad. It even had an optical illusion that used a reverse afterimage to deceive the kids into “seeing Jesus.”

jesus5zk

The Redhead thought it was interesting, and it didn’t bother him. But I raised him to be a confident individual unfazed by religious scare tactics. But that doesn’t even matter.

There is no justification – NONE – for bringing scary death cult shit into a public school to scare kids into converting. The entire pamphlet was all about how they could die tomorrow, about how they’ll go to hell, about how Jesus will help them get to heaven, but since they could die tomorrow, perhaps they should stare at this picture and then close their eyes and find him!

How the fuck do you justify trying to scare a bunch of 11-year-olds into having faith?

Here’s a hint, frothing fundamentalist zealots: if you have to frighten, mislead, deceive or intimidate people into your beliefs, maybe your beliefs just aren’t strong or convincing enough to stand on their own merit!

I did contact the school and found out that the materials the deputy handed out were not approved by the school, and that the school officials weren’t even made aware that anything was going to be handed out to the kids! They told me this was the first time anyone had complained about the materials the deputy handed out, which makes me believe that either the parents aren’t looking closely enough, or this is the first time he’s brought that crap into the school.

For the record, I have no problem with anyone talking to my kid about religion, encouraging him to explore his spirituality or various faiths. No problem at all. But if you try to bully or deceive my kid into entering your little cult, I promise you will receive a swift kick in the gonads from yours truly!

But back to Alabama…

Forcing children to say Christian prayers in class with the teacher at the helm is coercive, especially if a child’s family practices something other than Christianity. Yes, believe it or not, there are families – even in friggin’ Alabama – that are not Christian! And guess what, you arrogant, supercilious shitbags! They pay taxes too, including your salaries and the salaries of those teachers whom you want to become accomplices in your little game of religious compulsion. And I’m fairly sure these families would be pretty unhappy if their tax dollars were paying for a coercive religious conversion.

But hey… it’s your state, so you do what you want.

Bring on the lawsuits!

Dear Christians –

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If you are wondering why people think you’re all shitslurping assholes, look no further than this church.

Elders at Ridgedale Church of Christ told Linda Cooper and two relatives that their public support for Kat Cooper, Linda Cooper’s gay daughter, went against the church’s teachings, local media reported. In a private meeting, reports say, Linda Cooper was given a choice: publicly atone for their transgressions or leave the church.
 
Linda left the church.
 
Kat Cooper is a detective with the Collegedale Police Department. This month, she fought successfully for health benefits for her same-sex spouse, Krista, from the town.
 
The Board of Commissioners passed a resolution allowing for same-sex partner benefits, becoming the first city in Tennessee to do so.
 
Along the way, the mother publicly supported her daughter. That support appears to have led to a rift with her church.

OK, so this lady has attended this church for more than 60 years. That’s SIX DECADES.

According to the story, the “public support” of her daughter involved being there for her.

To the church, this is some kind of horrid transgression. A mother who loves her daughter, and supports her legally-joined partner getting health benefits – just like any other legally-joined partner – something that could and should be viewed as equal treatment under the law…

Apparently that just won’t do.

And apparently, unless she publicly renounces her daughter’s “sin,” she must leave the church she has attended and supported for six bloody decades.

Did Linda Cooper, in fact, “endorse” her daughter’s lifestyle, as the minister of this church claimed? I don’t see it. Demanding equal protection under the law for two people who are legally joined/married/whatever you want to call it does not mean endorsing a lifestyle. It means that this woman loves her daughter, and whether or not she agrees with her daughter’s lifestyle is completely irrelevant.

Nonetheless, this lady has been shunned by the church she has attended for nearly her entire lifetime for her refusal to condemn her child, whom she ostensibly loves. This is not about condoning what the Church considers to be a sin. This is about supporting a child you love unconditionally in a legal matter. Apparently, this particular band of frothing fundamentalist fruitcakes doesn’t like that, and therefore, Mrs. Cooper is now being forced to leave the church in which she grew up…

…all for the “sin” of publicly supporting the child she loves in a legal matter.

I know a lot of religious Christians, Jews, etc. I don’t agree with some of them on the matter of gay rights, but those I consider my friends also accept this difference of views, and do not treat gay people with any less respect than they do straight people.

Unfortunately, foaming at the mouth zealots such as this shitbag of a minister, are of a different breed altogether. They would even force a parent to condemn their own child and exile a church member for failing to properly denounce their loved one!

And these are the fundamentalist assholes that give the rest of the Christians a bad name.

I supported Chick-fil-A owner Dan Cathy’s right to voice his opinion on gay marriage based on his religious views without local governments in “tolerant liberal utopias” such as Boston and San Francisco persecuting them and destroying their efforts to build their business in those cities using local government power.

I support the right of gay couples to be legally married and to enjoy (some will debate that, based on their own matrimonial experiences) the benefits that go along with being married.

I support the right of anyone to have and voice his or her views on any topic without government persecution. The church is a religious entity, and it certainly has the right to boot out any member for any reason.

However, doing so will not and should not make this church exempt from criticism.

Frankly, this church makes Christians look bad. It makes them look like repugnant, intolerant, disgusting bigots.

I’ve met plenty who are, and I’ve met plenty who are not. But the rotten ones are louder and more obnoxious, and I can’t help but think that their actions will reflect badly on all Christians – even those who hold the “hate the sin, love the sinner” mentality, and even the ones who support gay rights outright.

As an aside… The church is a tax exempt entity. Many churches also receive government grants. That’s taxpayer money going to these churches – taxpayer money that is taken out of pockets of gay and straight people alike. While it used to be that the congregations supported the churches, more and more, the churches are turning to governments – be they federal, state or local.

So, if gay people, who ostensibly pay the same taxes as straight people, are also funding grants for the nation’s churches, wouldn’t they morally have the right to demand the same services as the straight congregants?

This is the problem with the government having its paws in everything, including churches. This is why we do have the separation of church and state. It’s not just to prevent the federal government from imposing a national religion. It’s also to protect churches from government intrusion. If you are receiving taxpayer money, the taxpayers have the right to make demands of you. So if a church is receiving tax dollars, wouldn’t the government have the right to make demands on said church?

Just a few thoughts on that front.

But my bottom line is this: to churches such as the Ridgedale Church of Christ – yes, you have every right to exile this poor woman for supporting her beloved child. And we have every right to call you out as the bigoted piece of shit assholes you are.

Good for you, NFL!

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Politico reports today that the NFL stood up proudly in support of Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo’s right to free speech, after a pathetic, tyrannical, parasitic turd burglar by the name of Emmett C. Burns Jr. tried to use his authority as a Maryland Assembly Delegate to force Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti to “inhibit [his] expressions” in support of gay marriage.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell on Wednesday defended Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, whose public support for gay marriage prompted a Maryland state lawmaker to write a letter to the team’s owner asking him to silence his player.

“I think in this day and age, people are going to speak up about what they think is important. They speak as individuals and that’s an important part of democracy,” Goodell said at POLITICO’s Playbook’s Lunch with Mike Allen.

Thank you, Mr. Goodell, for standing up for the individual rights of NFL players.

As for Emmett C. Burns Jr., apparently his “faith” isn’t as important to him as race. He initially withdrew his support for Obama when he came out (no pun intended) in support of marriage equality. But then, suddenly… OH, nevermind! I’ll support Obama, because uh… Mitt Romney, he doesn’t have a record, except as governor of Massachusetts (huh???)… and uh… Yeah… Obama… I’ll support him anyway.

Not only does he not comprehend the whole concept of the First Amendment, he’s a hypocrite to boot!

 

Thank you, Chris Kluwe!

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Just thought I’d explain why I decided to write the previous post. It was an open letter from Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe to elected Maryland moron Emmett C. Burns Jr. who last week wrote a letter to Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti, urging him to trample the freedom of speech of Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, who has spoken out in favor of a Maryland ballot initiative that would legalize gay marriage. “Inhibit such expressions from your employee,” Burns told Bisciotti!

Really, Mr. Burns?

Just who the flying, festering fuck do you think you are? Just who gave you the authority to put pressure on private citizens to conform to your personal religious views? And just why do you feel you have any right to pressure a private organization into inhibiting free speech?

Since when do elected officials have the right to infringe upon individuals’ right to free speech? To me, that’s a serious abuse of power.

As for his ignorance, I think Chris Kluwe addresses that better than I ever could!

This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you’ll start thinking about penis? “Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!” Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)

I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won’t even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?

Do yourselves a favor and read the rest of the open letter I linked to above.

I’ll always be an Eagles fan (but seriously, guys, one-point win over the Browns??? Really???), but I may start rooting for the Vikings as well!

 

 

Assholes for Allah

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Literally.

And for those of you who say “EWWWWWWW!” I agree. Wholeheartedly.

Not only did the original “underwear bomber” Abdullah Hassan al-Asiri hide explosives in his rectum to assassinate Saudi Prince Muhammad bin Nayef—they met in 2009 after the 22-year-old Asiri “feigned repentance for his jihadi views”—but this “holy-warrior” apparently had fellow jihadists repeatedly sodomize him to “widen” his anus to fit the explosives—and all in accordance with the fatwas of Islamic clerics.

A 2010 Arabic news video that aired on Fadak TV gives the details. Apparently a cleric, one Abu al-Dema al-Qasab, informed al-Asiri and other jihadis of an “innovative and unprecedented way to execute martyrdom operations: place explosive capsules in your anus. However, to undertake this jihadi approach you must agree to be sodomized for a while to widen your anus so it can hold the explosives.

And apparently, even though Islam opposes homosexuality and a number of Islamic nations actually execute or mutilate gays, it’s perfectly OK to have your asshole violated by other men as long as you’re doing it for the sake of Jihad.

However, jihad comes first, for it is the pinnacle of Islam, and if the pinnacle of Islam can only be achieved through sodomy, then there is no wrong in it. For the overarching rule of [Islamic] jurisprudence asserts that ‘necessity makes permissible the prohibited.’ And if obligatory matters can only be achieved by performing the prohibited, then it becomes obligatory to perform the prohibited, and there is no greater duty than jihad. After he sodomizes you, you must ask Allah for forgiveness and praise him all the more. And know that Allah will reward the jihadis on the Day of Resurrection, according to their intentions—and your intention, Allah willing, is for the victory of Islam, and we ask that Allah accept it of you.

Murder? No problem. As long as you’re doing it for jihad. Having other men stretch your asshole so you can use it as a storage facility? No problem.

And I thought the Crotchbomber was bad! I wondered how much hate you had to have for your enemy that you’re willing to set your junk on fire for Allah. Now we have guys willing to indulge in acts specifically forbidden by their religion FOR their religion.

Does that make your head hurt?

How about your ass?

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