Isn’t this only slightly unconstitutional?


Hey, Alabama? Requiring teachers to lead kids in Christian prayer in public schools is… um… unconstitutional.

By way of a voice vote, the House Education Policy Committee passed a bill that would require teachers to recite Christian prayers in public schools every day, even though the majority of members did not vote for it.

The bill, sponsored by Rep. Steve Hurst, R-Munford, would require teachers to spend no more than 15 minutes in the first class of each day to read, verbatim, opening prayers said before a meeting of the U.S. House of Representatives or the U.S. Senate.

Rep. Mary Sue McClurkin, R-Indian Springs, chairwoman of the committee, said she heard more votes in favor of the bill.

“It’s what I heard as chairman,” she said.

Yeah, I’m sure that’s what you “heard as chairman,” but it’s still unconstitutional.

Look, I’m a pretty open minded kind of female. I have no problem with kids having their own little prayer groups, or learning about any religion in a public school. Fact is religion is a part of our culture and history, and to pretend it’s not there by not teaching kids about it is quite frankly stupid.

But notice I said, “teaching them ABOUT religion,” and not “teaching them religion.” There’s a difference.

I have no problem learning the history of different faiths, what they worship, how they worship, what they believe, etc. It’s knowledge, frothing atheist zealots. Get over it! It’s part of history. It’s part of geography. It’s part of current events. You can’t pretend religion doesn’t exist, and knowledge about the different faiths out there is important.

That said…

Forcing. Kids. To. Pray. Is. UNCONSTITUTIONAL.


You don’t need a degree in constitutional law to understand that!

The First Amendment prohibits the government from establishing a national religion. It is incorporated, so that states have to abide by it as well. Schools receive local, state and federal money. Ergo, they cannot impose Christian, Jewish, Wiccan, Buddhist, Muslim, Rastafarian, Pastafarian or Scientolog… ical (I hesitate to even use the word “logical” in that particular description of Scientology) prayers on kids.

A teacher is in a position of authority over kids. What do you think is going to happen when a teacher leads a mandated Christian prayer session in the classroom? Think there’s no element of coercion? Please!

When the Redhead was 11 years old, he went to a middle school in rural Virginia. He attended a DARE program taught by a local sheriff’s deputy. The Redhead really enjoyed the class. They played games, discussed the dangers of drugs, etc. One day, the Redhead brought home a pamphlet that this particular deputy handed to all the kids in his class. On its surface, it looked like a bunch of optical illusions and puzzles. However, a closer look revealed that it was a publication by these Living Waters freaks.

The pamphlet used puzzles and games to scare kids into accepting Jesus. It told them they could die at any moment, and if they did anything bad like lie in their lives, they were going to hell, unless… they accepted Jesus right fucking now! It told the kids they were sinners. It told them that hell awaits them all, because they were all inherently bad. It even had an optical illusion that used a reverse afterimage to deceive the kids into “seeing Jesus.”


The Redhead thought it was interesting, and it didn’t bother him. But I raised him to be a confident individual unfazed by religious scare tactics. But that doesn’t even matter.

There is no justification – NONE – for bringing scary death cult shit into a public school to scare kids into converting. The entire pamphlet was all about how they could die tomorrow, about how they’ll go to hell, about how Jesus will help them get to heaven, but since they could die tomorrow, perhaps they should stare at this picture and then close their eyes and find him!

How the fuck do you justify trying to scare a bunch of 11-year-olds into having faith?

Here’s a hint, frothing fundamentalist zealots: if you have to frighten, mislead, deceive or intimidate people into your beliefs, maybe your beliefs just aren’t strong or convincing enough to stand on their own merit!

I did contact the school and found out that the materials the deputy handed out were not approved by the school, and that the school officials weren’t even made aware that anything was going to be handed out to the kids! They told me this was the first time anyone had complained about the materials the deputy handed out, which makes me believe that either the parents aren’t looking closely enough, or this is the first time he’s brought that crap into the school.

For the record, I have no problem with anyone talking to my kid about religion, encouraging him to explore his spirituality or various faiths. No problem at all. But if you try to bully or deceive my kid into entering your little cult, I promise you will receive a swift kick in the gonads from yours truly!

But back to Alabama…

Forcing children to say Christian prayers in class with the teacher at the helm is coercive, especially if a child’s family practices something other than Christianity. Yes, believe it or not, there are families – even in friggin’ Alabama – that are not Christian! And guess what, you arrogant, supercilious shitbags! They pay taxes too, including your salaries and the salaries of those teachers whom you want to become accomplices in your little game of religious compulsion. And I’m fairly sure these families would be pretty unhappy if their tax dollars were paying for a coercive religious conversion.

But hey… it’s your state, so you do what you want.

Bring on the lawsuits!

Dear Christians -


If you are wondering why people think you’re all shitslurping assholes, look no further than this church.

Elders at Ridgedale Church of Christ told Linda Cooper and two relatives that their public support for Kat Cooper, Linda Cooper’s gay daughter, went against the church’s teachings, local media reported. In a private meeting, reports say, Linda Cooper was given a choice: publicly atone for their transgressions or leave the church.
Linda left the church.
Kat Cooper is a detective with the Collegedale Police Department. This month, she fought successfully for health benefits for her same-sex spouse, Krista, from the town.
The Board of Commissioners passed a resolution allowing for same-sex partner benefits, becoming the first city in Tennessee to do so.
Along the way, the mother publicly supported her daughter. That support appears to have led to a rift with her church.

OK, so this lady has attended this church for more than 60 years. That’s SIX DECADES.

According to the story, the “public support” of her daughter involved being there for her.

To the church, this is some kind of horrid transgression. A mother who loves her daughter, and supports her legally-joined partner getting health benefits – just like any other legally-joined partner – something that could and should be viewed as equal treatment under the law…

Apparently that just won’t do.

And apparently, unless she publicly renounces her daughter’s “sin,” she must leave the church she has attended and supported for six bloody decades.

Did Linda Cooper, in fact, “endorse” her daughter’s lifestyle, as the minister of this church claimed? I don’t see it. Demanding equal protection under the law for two people who are legally joined/married/whatever you want to call it does not mean endorsing a lifestyle. It means that this woman loves her daughter, and whether or not she agrees with her daughter’s lifestyle is completely irrelevant.

Nonetheless, this lady has been shunned by the church she has attended for nearly her entire lifetime for her refusal to condemn her child, whom she ostensibly loves. This is not about condoning what the Church considers to be a sin. This is about supporting a child you love unconditionally in a legal matter. Apparently, this particular band of frothing fundamentalist fruitcakes doesn’t like that, and therefore, Mrs. Cooper is now being forced to leave the church in which she grew up…

…all for the “sin” of publicly supporting the child she loves in a legal matter.

I know a lot of religious Christians, Jews, etc. I don’t agree with some of them on the matter of gay rights, but those I consider my friends also accept this difference of views, and do not treat gay people with any less respect than they do straight people.

Unfortunately, foaming at the mouth zealots such as this shitbag of a minister, are of a different breed altogether. They would even force a parent to condemn their own child and exile a church member for failing to properly denounce their loved one!

And these are the fundamentalist assholes that give the rest of the Christians a bad name.

I supported Chick-fil-A owner Dan Cathy’s right to voice his opinion on gay marriage based on his religious views without local governments in “tolerant liberal utopias” such as Boston and San Francisco persecuting them and destroying their efforts to build their business in those cities using local government power.

I support the right of gay couples to be legally married and to enjoy (some will debate that, based on their own matrimonial experiences) the benefits that go along with being married.

I support the right of anyone to have and voice his or her views on any topic without government persecution. The church is a religious entity, and it certainly has the right to boot out any member for any reason.

However, doing so will not and should not make this church exempt from criticism.

Frankly, this church makes Christians look bad. It makes them look like repugnant, intolerant, disgusting bigots.

I’ve met plenty who are, and I’ve met plenty who are not. But the rotten ones are louder and more obnoxious, and I can’t help but think that their actions will reflect badly on all Christians – even those who hold the “hate the sin, love the sinner” mentality, and even the ones who support gay rights outright.

As an aside… The church is a tax exempt entity. Many churches also receive government grants. That’s taxpayer money going to these churches – taxpayer money that is taken out of pockets of gay and straight people alike. While it used to be that the congregations supported the churches, more and more, the churches are turning to governments – be they federal, state or local.

So, if gay people, who ostensibly pay the same taxes as straight people, are also funding grants for the nation’s churches, wouldn’t they morally have the right to demand the same services as the straight congregants?

This is the problem with the government having its paws in everything, including churches. This is why we do have the separation of church and state. It’s not just to prevent the federal government from imposing a national religion. It’s also to protect churches from government intrusion. If you are receiving taxpayer money, the taxpayers have the right to make demands of you. So if a church is receiving tax dollars, wouldn’t the government have the right to make demands on said church?

Just a few thoughts on that front.

But my bottom line is this: to churches such as the Ridgedale Church of Christ – yes, you have every right to exile this poor woman for supporting her beloved child. And we have every right to call you out as the bigoted piece of shit assholes you are.

Good for you, NFL!

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Politico reports today that the NFL stood up proudly in support of Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo’s right to free speech, after a pathetic, tyrannical, parasitic turd burglar by the name of Emmett C. Burns Jr. tried to use his authority as a Maryland Assembly Delegate to force Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti to “inhibit [his] expressions” in support of gay marriage.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell on Wednesday defended Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, whose public support for gay marriage prompted a Maryland state lawmaker to write a letter to the team’s owner asking him to silence his player.

“I think in this day and age, people are going to speak up about what they think is important. They speak as individuals and that’s an important part of democracy,” Goodell said at POLITICO’s Playbook’s Lunch with Mike Allen.

Thank you, Mr. Goodell, for standing up for the individual rights of NFL players.

As for Emmett C. Burns Jr., apparently his “faith” isn’t as important to him as race. He initially withdrew his support for Obama when he came out (no pun intended) in support of marriage equality. But then, suddenly… OH, nevermind! I’ll support Obama, because uh… Mitt Romney, he doesn’t have a record, except as governor of Massachusetts (huh???)… and uh… Yeah… Obama… I’ll support him anyway.

Not only does he not comprehend the whole concept of the First Amendment, he’s a hypocrite to boot!


Thank you, Chris Kluwe!


Just thought I’d explain why I decided to write the previous post. It was an open letter from Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe to elected Maryland moron Emmett C. Burns Jr. who last week wrote a letter to Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti, urging him to trample the freedom of speech of Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, who has spoken out in favor of a Maryland ballot initiative that would legalize gay marriage. “Inhibit such expressions from your employee,” Burns told Bisciotti!

Really, Mr. Burns?

Just who the flying, festering fuck do you think you are? Just who gave you the authority to put pressure on private citizens to conform to your personal religious views? And just why do you feel you have any right to pressure a private organization into inhibiting free speech?

Since when do elected officials have the right to infringe upon individuals’ right to free speech? To me, that’s a serious abuse of power.

As for his ignorance, I think Chris Kluwe addresses that better than I ever could!

This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you’ll start thinking about penis? “Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!” Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)

I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won’t even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?

Do yourselves a favor and read the rest of the open letter I linked to above.

I’ll always be an Eagles fan (but seriously, guys, one-point win over the Browns??? Really???), but I may start rooting for the Vikings as well!



Assholes for Allah



And for those of you who say “EWWWWWWW!” I agree. Wholeheartedly.

Not only did the original “underwear bomber” Abdullah Hassan al-Asiri hide explosives in his rectum to assassinate Saudi Prince Muhammad bin Nayef—they met in 2009 after the 22-year-old Asiri “feigned repentance for his jihadi views”—but this “holy-warrior” apparently had fellow jihadists repeatedly sodomize him to “widen” his anus to fit the explosives—and all in accordance with the fatwas of Islamic clerics.

A 2010 Arabic news video that aired on Fadak TV gives the details. Apparently a cleric, one Abu al-Dema al-Qasab, informed al-Asiri and other jihadis of an “innovative and unprecedented way to execute martyrdom operations: place explosive capsules in your anus. However, to undertake this jihadi approach you must agree to be sodomized for a while to widen your anus so it can hold the explosives.

And apparently, even though Islam opposes homosexuality and a number of Islamic nations actually execute or mutilate gays, it’s perfectly OK to have your asshole violated by other men as long as you’re doing it for the sake of Jihad.

However, jihad comes first, for it is the pinnacle of Islam, and if the pinnacle of Islam can only be achieved through sodomy, then there is no wrong in it. For the overarching rule of [Islamic] jurisprudence asserts that ‘necessity makes permissible the prohibited.’ And if obligatory matters can only be achieved by performing the prohibited, then it becomes obligatory to perform the prohibited, and there is no greater duty than jihad. After he sodomizes you, you must ask Allah for forgiveness and praise him all the more. And know that Allah will reward the jihadis on the Day of Resurrection, according to their intentions—and your intention, Allah willing, is for the victory of Islam, and we ask that Allah accept it of you.

Murder? No problem. As long as you’re doing it for jihad. Having other men stretch your asshole so you can use it as a storage facility? No problem.

And I thought the Crotchbomber was bad! I wondered how much hate you had to have for your enemy that you’re willing to set your junk on fire for Allah. Now we have guys willing to indulge in acts specifically forbidden by their religion FOR their religion.

Does that make your head hurt?

How about your ass?

Splodeydopes warn against a new threat


Tomatoes.  I shit you not.

The group posted a photo on its page of a tomato – which appears to reveal the shape of a cross after being cut in half – along with the message: “Eating tomatoes is forbidden because they are Christian. [The tomato] praises the cross instead of Allah and says that Allah is three (a reference to the Trinity).

[God help us]. I implore you to spread this photo because there is a sister from Palestine who saw the prophet of Allah [Mohammad] in a vision and he was crying, warning his nation against eating them [tomatoes]. If you don’t spread this [message], know that it is the devil who stopped you.”


Just when you thought they couldn’t get anymore bass ackwards.

The latest threat to all good Muslims.

NOT Bob Marshall – no way!

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Virginia’s Republican primary will take place on June 13. There are four candidates vying for the chance to reclaim one of our Senate seats:

George Allen (of the “macaca” fame)

Jamie Radtke (of the Virginia Tea Party fame)

E.W. Jackson (of the S.T.A.N.D. fame)

And Bob Marshall (of the penis fame)

While I haven’t yet decided for whom I’ll cast my primary vote, I can tell you one thing – it will not be Bob Marshall.

It’s not because he happens to be a social conservative. I know plenty of those. They don’t bother me unless they try to shove their religiosity down my throat. But Marshall is a frothing fundamentalist fruitcake of the highest order.

This is the same Bob Marshall who fought to prevent single women from getting artificial insemination. Because, it’s apparently OK for him to stick his rather large, craggy proboscis up the vaginal canals and into the uteruses (uteri?) of Virginia’s women.

This is the same Bob Marshall who claimed that disabled children were divine retribution for abortion!

This is the same Bob Marshall who is so afraid of catching TEH GHEY™ that he attempted to prevent gay service members from serving in the Virginia National Guard by claiming that repeal of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy will erode morale and weaken recruiting and retention. Of course, Bob has never actually served in the military himself in any capacity, but apparently feels himself erudite and experienced enough to speak for the military.

Well, guess what. DADT repeal did not do a damn thing to upend, upset or otherwise hinder our military.

Not that Bob Marshall would care, because he’s so rationally upset at the thought of two people of the same gender spending their lives together and sleeping in one bed, that he will do anything and say anything to prevent this from happening.

His latest “victory” is his successful leadership of the effort to block an openly gay man from becoming a district judge, citing his concerns that Tracy Thorne-Bergland has a “pattern of behavior” as an activist for some radical gay agenda.

And what makes Bob Marshall say this?

Thorne-Bergland apparently came out of the closet while he was serving his nation in the military to challenge the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the military. He committed the heinous crime of challenging a policy that doesn’t even exist any longer.

Thorne-Bergland “would have been an outstanding judge,” according to his boss, Richmond Commonwealth’s Attorney Michael N. Herring.

Thorne-Bergland is a former fighter pilot, who had broad bipartisan support from the Courts of Justice Committee for the judgeship, who is raising twins with his partner, but he committed the egregious act of wanting to serve his nation. TO SERVE. TO RISK HIS LIFE TO PROTECT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES. Serve while he was gay.

This somehow translates to a violation of his oath to Bob Marshall, who is obviously unfamiliar with the oath we take when we join the military.

[Thorne-Begland] had to misstate his background in order to be received into the military in the late 1980s. There was a specific question, “are you a homosexual?” He had to say no. He took an oath of office which he had to defy. . . . 

Could Bob please tell us where in the holy flying fuck he sees “I do solemnly affirm that I will not plug another guy in the ass” in that particular oath?

I, [name], do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

The whole regulation on gays in the military didn’t even come about until the 1940s.  It’s not in the oath of either enlistment or the oath officers take when they join the armed services. It’s not a promise, a vow or an oath. It was a regulation – one that has now been invalidated.

Bob continued digging by claiming that “sodomy is not a civil right.”

But our right to our own bodies is. It’s basic. There’s no property more private or basic than the right to own one’s own body, and by extension to do with it as we please.

But besides, that the “sodomy is not a civil right” claim has already been decided by the Supreme Court. Whether Bob agrees with the decision or not, constitutionally, the court decided in Lawrence v. Texas that sodomy between consenting adults is constitutionally protected. If Bob claims to love and respect the Constitution as much as he claims, how is he blatantly and willfully ignoring a SCOTUS decision that happens to go against his personal beliefs? SCOTUS is, after all, the nation’s highest court of appeals.

I guess, Bob feels it’s OK to ignore the Law of the Land if it involves two guys doing the horizontal mambo in their own homes.

Bob Marshall doesn’t have respect for the Constitution, for personal rights or for the very basic right to control our own bodies. Does anyone really expect him to protect their rights in Washington?

So no. This drooling, ignorant cretin won’t be getting my vote. And if he, by some miracle, he manages to get the GOP nomination, I’ll gladly vote for Tim Kaine.

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