And the Russians Will Probably Buy It

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I’m floored. Seriously. Either the Russian FSB is slipping, or someone in the propaganda machine over at the Kremlin has been smoking something laced with formaldehyde. Why else would they come up with the most harebrained, snortworthy piece of propaganda I’ve seen in probably years? The story comes to you from Foreign Policy magazine, which reports that the Russian tabloid Komsomolskaya Pravda released a recording of two alleged “CIA agents” discussing plans for downing Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 last year. For those who don’t know, Komsomol was the old Soviet Communist youth organization run by the Party, and “pravda” is “truth,” which in this case happens to be the most laughable title for this particular rag, given the subject matter.

If you think I’m kidding, I’m not. You can listen to the whole thing right here, complete with stilted English, confused accents that start out Russian flow into British, with one of the “CIA agents” finally settling into an American accent.

Foreign Policy is chuckling at the bad production value of this supposed proof that somehow Americans were responsible for the downing of the passenger plane last July, and after having listened to this large, steaming pile of rhino dreck, I’m simply floored myself.

One sounds British for half the recording until he switches to a more American accent. The other man does his best to hide his Russian accent, but it pops up at the beginning as he clumsily asks his co-conspirator, “How are the preparations?” But the most glaring hole is in the conversation itself. The men do not talk with each other like native English speakers and use turns of phrase that sound as if their dialogue was translated to English from Russian via Google Translate. Before signing off, the two say “Luck!” to each other, a common farewell in Russian.

The video claims the recording comes from an SBU (Ukrainian security services) agent that was recruited by the “Russian Information Center – Analysis and Security” and features two agents named David Hamilton and David Lloyd Stern, who sounds suspiciously British in the recording. Gee… maybe it’s a NATO plot to discredit the Russians by blaming Russian-backed separatists for the murder of innocent civilians in Ukrainian airspace!

The botched propaganda attempt is bordering on the absurd. Bordering?? Hell, it’s surpassed absurd and gotten into the territory of “must be smoking vast amounts of crack to even attempt this absolute cornholery.”

Never mind the SBU released transcripts of real Russians discussing the downing of the plane last year! Not American fakes stiltedly discussing the downing of the plane, but actual voice intercepts.

Never mind the Russian shitbag leading the Ukrainian separatist scum Strelkov gleefully implied that he and his band of knuckle dragging assholes shot the plane down, before doing an “OOPSIE!” and taking the post down, but not before it was screen captured by numerous sites.

strelkov

Translation:

In the region of Torez, a AN-26 plane was just downed, it’s lying somewhere behind the mine “Progress.

We warned not to fly in “our skies.”

And here’s the video confirming the latest downing of the bird (about the closest I can come to translating it accurately).

The bird fell behind a slag heap, and did not affect the residential sector. Peaceful people did not suffer.

Also there’s information about a second downed plane, probably an SU.

As soon as it became known that this was a passenger plane, Strelkov, who, by the way, is a Russian military veteran, a likely intel operative, and an all around asshole, quickly took down the bragging post. Too bad for him the Internet is forever.

The Internet forever will record this attempt by Komsomolskaya Pravda to impersonate “CIA officers” as a Russian propaganda FAIL of nuclear proportions.

Russian propaganda machine RT will probably report it as breaking news. Dumbasses here in the United States who consider RT a legitimate news source will post the RT story as truth not reported by the American corporatist media in the pockets of evil politicians.

And the Russians will probably swallow it all like a porn star in a bukkakke scene.

Yes, they are that deluded.

Still think this POS is a “whistleblower?”

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The only whistle he blew is on classified programs that exist to target terrorists, drug trafficking organizations, and transnational organized crime groups. He handed over critical pieces of information to the world, including our adversaries. He didn’t bother reading what he released. He just stole a bunch of files and handed them over to the media.

Anyone who thinks this douche pickle is a hero needs to have his or her head examined.

In a television interview the fugitive squirmed as he admitted only ‘evaluating’ the files stolen from GCHQ and the US National Security Agency.

The former US spy also acknowledged there had been a ‘f***-up’ when newspapers that were handed the classified material failed to redact sensitive details exposing operations against Al Qaeda.

But in an outburst of arrogance, Snowden said such potentially catastrophic blunders were a ‘fundamental’ price of liberty.

The only fuck up is that this traitorous piece of garbage is still walking free.

Fundamental price of liberty? So endangering lives, handing critical national security secrets to aggressive enemy states, and cutting off access to critical access is the fundamental price of liberty? Death of innocent people is the fundamental price of liberty?

Fuck you, Snowden! Just fucking die already, you piece of shit!

Azealia Banks now embarrassing herself

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As if her “music” wasn’t embarrassing enough, Azealia Banks is apparently tweeting photos of her twat to men on the Internet. That’s what I call “heading full speed toward rock bottom.”

The Washington Times reports Rapper Azealia Banks on Saturday reportedly tweeted a close-up photograph of what she claims to be her “minge” (that’s dipshit speak (British slang) for genitals) to blogger Matt Walsh and conservative radio host Wayne DuPree after they criticized her for declaring her hatred for “fat white Americans” during a recent Playboy interview.

I guess flashing her oozing, overused sprout at strangers is just part of her stale act. When one is so desperate for attention, it’s likely because their five minutes of fame are up.

Harf Should Really Just Shut Her Yap

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In case you haven’t heard, there’s more stupidity coming out of the State Department in the form of something resembling words (and ostensibly logic, however bad) from the gaping maw of State Department spokeshole Marie Harf.

See, apparently we can just make terrorists not be terrorists anymore if we just offer them some jobs… maybe a $15/hour living wage… something. But we certainly can’t kill them all!

My reply to this would be, “Why not at least try?” But that might be too “nuanced” for some (and by “nuanced,” I mean, “politically incorrect.”)

And when anyone with a shred of common sense became publicly appalled at the vast amount of stupid, Harf decided to dig a little deeper by claiming her words were just way too “nuanced” for us conservative dolts.

“We cannot kill every terrorist around the world, nor should we try,” Harf said later. “How do you get at the root causes of this? It might be too nuanced an argument for some, like I’ve seen over the last 24 hours some of the commentary out there, but it’s really the smart way that Democrats, Republicans, our partners in the Arab world think we need to combat it.”

And by “nuanced,” we mean “stupid.” My mind certainly cannot process this much dumbassery in such a short period of time.

When I did my Master’s work in National Security Studies, I actually took a class called “The Roots of Terrorism” taught by an expert in the field – Paul Medhurst.  The work was interesting, in that it examined all aspects of international terrorism and allowed us to draw our own conclusions about its roots.

My conclusion was similar to this report.

While the report says that Western foreign policy and the perception that ‘Islam is under siege’ plays a role, they are not the main cause.

Instead, the four causes of radicalisation are: 

  • ‘Trauma’, such as the death of a loved one: Ten per cent of terror suspects became radicalised after a life trauma, says the report.

  • ‘Migration’: A third of all extremists ‘migrated to Britain alone’.

  •  ‘Criminal activity’: Two-thirds of the sample had criminal records.

  • ‘Prison’: Muslim prisoners who are not religious are often radicalised in prison. The report identified 60 known Islamist extremists operating in British jails.

The report also found that two-thirds of terrorists actually came from middle- to upper-class families, showing there’s no direct correlation between poverty, joblessness, and terrorism.

They’re also not really lone wolves, for the most part, and the vast majority were described as social and having lots of friends.

It’s not poverty and unemployment that prompt terrorists to attack their enemies. It’s ideology. And I would submit that no matter how many jobs you throw at them, that is not going to be fixed by giving them free shit.

Geeze, no wonder Harf went from a Middle East leadership analyst at the Agency to a spokeshole! Saying something stupid, and then condemning critics for not having a strong enough intellect to “get” her nuance doesn’t display too much analytic prowess!

FFS, Marie! Just shut your cock holster and stop embarrassing yourself and the administration!

Too much stupid in this world!

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Every once in a while, I run across something so completely idiotic on the Internet… so moronic… so cretinous, that I fight the strong, physical urge to:

a) buy an island, surround it with barbed wire, sharks with laser beams attached to their heads, and nests of machine guns, and move there; or

1) find the source of the stoopid, pop its skull open like a ripe coconut, and find a chimp with a bad case of tequila shits to fill said skull with smelly goo, which will still be preferable to what resides in its head now.

Why? Because what resides in said head now came up with this.

This… piece of dreck masquerading as a book attempts to persuade children (and the sniveling fucktards they have as parents) that measles, which is recently experiencing a resurgence thanks to several factors, including idiots refusing to vaccinate their fuck trophies and unvaccinated foreigners who bring this plague from their own shitholes, is really awesome.

Marvelous, in fact!

No, there are no side effects. As a matter of fact, you children out there should look forward to getting this bit of plague.

The book includes such inspired medical advice as :

  • measles is easily avoided by drinking melon juice

  • vaccines weaken the human immune system,

  • getting measles strengthens it (as does melon juice).

This bit of literary diarrhea has been around for about two years now, and luckily, the majority of people who wasted time and money reading this crap actually thought it sucked. Hell, some of the reviews are hilarious!

If you enjoyed this book, check out these other fine titles from the same author:

Abby’s Absolutely Abundant Abscess
Addie’s Adorable Adenoma
Adelia’s Addled Alzheimer’s
Andys Amazing AIDS
Anne’s Incandescent Anorexia
Annette’s Astonishing Aneurysm
Annie’s Awesome Asthma
Arnie’s Artful Addiction
Barack’s Baroque Barbiturate Overdose
Barry’s Bitchin Beri Beri
Beatrice’s Bawdy Bronchitis
Bella’s Beloved Bell’s Palsy
Bennett’s Breathtaking Boil
Bertha’s Blossoming Bulimia
Billy’s Bodacious Botulism
Bobby’s Bitchin Bubonic Plague

That said, if you don’t think there are cretins out there who will follow the dubious “medical” advice of this drooling harpy, you’d be mistaken.

Just in the past week alone, I had two people block me on Facebook, because I provided actual scientific articles for them to read about the efficacy and necessity of vaccinations.

One – supposedly a PhD (which in this woman’s case means Piled higher and Deeper) and published author named Ileana Johnson – became unhinged, accused me of being a government agent, and  demanded to know where I work. Then she glommed on to a part time writing gig I had listed on Facebook and screeched I was working for the “regime” and spreading its propaganda.

Another one actually had the gall to compare vaccine denying morons to Jews during the Holocaust. You just can’t make that shit up.

I only wish I was joking.

vaccine

Yeah, because asking for an immunization record before attending public school is something akin to making Jews wear yellow stars. What kind of twisted mental gymnastics do you have to engage in to come up with that bit of Godwinian excrement?

There are enough complete frothing morons out there who would not only buy this book, but also take its insane advice!

I mean, goodness! Why would you want to forego the joy of highly-contagious, potentially deadly diseases? Don’t be afraid, little boy! Here, have a lollipop!

Wouldn’t you rather get debilitating illnesses the natural way, because GOVERNMENT! BIG PHARMA! AUTISM! MERCURY! FETUS PARTS!

There are at least two idiots who took Messenger’s barely literate spew seriously, and most readers – even the ones who gave this feces-filled screed five stars – did so with a healthy dose of sarcasm.

I read an article recently – linked from the very libertarian CATO Institute – which is worth a read, if you have an open and rational mind. I agree with the writer, and I view anti-vaxxers somewhat like freeloaders.

The resurgence of measles is largely attributable to the confluence of two separate factors. On the one side there is a strong, if unacknowledged, effort on the part of some people to free ride off the vaccination of others. The self-interested calculations of many conscientious parents can run as follow: Of course, measles is a contagious disease, but it only spreads if there is a sufficiently large population of unvaccinated people in any given community. Taking any vaccine, including the measles vaccine, necessarily carries with it some risk of adverse outcomes. Vaccines could be impure or improperly administered, and even in the best of times, there is always a residual risk that the vaccine itself will transmit the very disease that it is supposed to prevent. So long as other individuals are vaccinated, the rational free rider decides that it pays not to vaccinate his or her own children. They receive the protection afforded by herd immunity, without subjecting their loved ones to the risks, however small, that vaccinations always present.

Freeloaders.

But back to the psychotic twatmold that wrote the load of bollocks…

It’s amazing that someone like this actually found someone to publish that pile of monkey droppings!

I’m  all for freedom of speech. I do, however, think that at some point, someone has to say, “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!”

You will not use freedom to try and convince kids that getting a disease that could lead to pneumonia, encephalitis, and death!

Measles isn’t marvelous. Small pox isn’t splendid. Whooping cough isn’t wonderful.

People used to die from these contagions, and this dumb twunt needs to be kept away from kids.

Virginia Politician Joins Ranks of Political Dumbassery

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Over the years, we’ve seen a lot of stories about the burning stupid of politicians. There was Hank “Guam is capsizing” Johnson, who worried that the small island would actually tip over if we staged a military buildup there.

There was this moron Joe Salazar, who didn’t think women should defend themselves against rape with a gun, because they’re just too emotional and stupid to do so. Use call boxes and whistles, he told potential rape victims.

There was Sheila Jackson Lee, who thought the Democrats should write Executive Orders for the President.

There was Todd Akin’s blisteringly dumb “legitimate rape” comment.

There were Anthony Weiner’s numerous gaffes with Weiner Jr.

There was Sarah Palin’s “North Korean allies” gaffe.

And there was Corrine Brown’s historic speech on the floor of the Congress, “GO GATA!” which will forever go down in history as one of the most entertaining speeches on the House floor – one that never fails to crack me up.

The list of politician stupid is too long to detail, and frankly, there’s just not enough bandwidth to do it justice.

And recently, it looks like a Virginia legisleech is joining the ranks of the stupid.

In his efforts to relieve Virginia gun owners of their rights, Alfonso Lopez (D-umbass, Arlington) has introduced new legislation to ban high capacity magazines in the Commonwealth. In order to add gravitas… or just hysterical idiocy… to his proposal, Lopez decided to show just how “unsafe” the residents of the Old Dominion are with these evil high capacity magazines running around.

“Since 1931, federal law prohibits me from having more than three shotgun shells in my shotgun when I’m duck hunting,” he said. “That means that ducks have more protection than people in Virginia.

“Let me repeat that: Under the law, ducks have more protection than people in Virginia,” Lopez said.

Yep. Ducks are apparently safer in Virginia than humans, says Lopez.

Well, PolitiFact disagrees. As a matter of fact, they gave this claim their “Pants on Fire” rating, meaning if Lopez was any more off, his pants would double as an incendiary device used in controlled forest burns.

The very premise of Lopez’s claim is flawed. It’s legal to hunt ducks in Virginia. If you shoot one with a barred firearm for duck hunting, it’s a misdemeanor punishable by a maximum $500 fine.

It’s illegal to shoot people in Virginia with any firearm, except in limited instances of self defense.

The murder of person in Virginia is punishable by death or lengthy prison sentences. There’s no jail time for shooting a duck, even if it’s done with an illegal shotgun.

It’s illegal to even point a gun at another person in Virginia in a menacing way, a misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in prison and a $2,500 fine. State law is silent about pointing a gun at a duck.

For his part, the idiot tried to walk back his lunacy, claiming that’s not what he meant, but PolitiFact points out that not only did he say exactly that “ducks have more protection that people” from assault gun violence, but that he repeated it to drive the point home.

I’m sure the ducks are worried.

A bit of a follow up on the Ferguson retardery

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I know I haven’t been writing often. Frankly, I’m disgusted every time I turn my computer on, and it’s making me want to delete all my social media, all my writing, and just hide somewhere in a cave. Really… how fucked up can this world be?

To answer that question, I did do a bit of a round-up of the Klown Kar asshattery that is the post-Ferguson United States for the Zelman Partisans yesterday. You should go read it over there, along with other amazing essays by the likes of Claire Wolfe and Ilana Mercer. Seriously. Go read.

Meantime, what’s got me particularly steamed is the treatment one young lady received at the hands of batshit insane social justice warriors on Reddit.

Tolerant, peaceable social justice warriors chose to threaten a young lady who posted a limerick on Tumbler condemning Michael Brown as a thug. Not only did they expose her identity, phone number, address, and university on the Internet (an odious practice called “doxing” that essentially bullies those who might disagree with you into silence for fear for their very lives), but they threatened to rape her mother, to burn down her house, and decapitate and dismember her. Because social justice for anyone who disagrees with the victim mentality is harassment, death, rape, and dismemberment.

That’s right. Death. Rape. Dismemberment. For posting a limerick about Michael Brown. They’ve texted and called her hundreds of times. They’ve threatened her family. They’ve contacted her school – George Mason University – and reported her to some diversity/inclusion/sexual harassment/something or other office the school has.

AYFKM??

And when she threatened to press charges against them, and posted screen shots of their evil, scummy, threatening, violent messages, guess what they did!  They threatened to press charges against her for publicizing the phone numbers they gave her when calling and texting her! This, of course, after taunting her and telling her that she won’t be able to press charges over Internet harassment.

Nice, right?

Meanwhile, the harassment of this girl continues unabated.  Some douche weasel lodged a complaint against her for sexual harassment with GMU. Her phone number was posted on Tumbler, and shit like this was sent to her phone.

bad

 

Ah yes, those tolerant social justice warriors, who are so brave, threatening a girl from behind their social media accounts and their telephones! These are the bastards who are all incensed, because she posted a limerick. Lovely, right?

more

If you want to know why I want to move to a deserted island, it’s because of jackassery such as this.

We all have the right to free speech. But when you use that right to facilitate threats, violence, abuse, libel, and harassment, that’s no longer protected. That’s criminal and disgusting.

I don’t give a shit if the person is a racist, homophobe, necrophile, wears white after Labor Day, or scratches at scabs and leaves them under the table in a restaurant. You don’t have the right to threaten and harass someone merely because you don’t like them or what they say or do. A true respect for freedom means having the integrity to stand up and defend with your life another person’s right to say something you find deplorable.

To quote one of my favorite movies, “America isn’t easy. America is advanced citizenship. You’ve gotta want it bad, ’cause it’s gonna put up a fight. It’s gonna say, ‘You want free speech? Let’s see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who’s standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours.'”

Remember that next time you want to threaten someone for speaking or writing words with which you disagree. Because until you have the integrity to defend all forms of speech – even ones with which you disagree – without egregious and disgusting threats to the speaker or their family, you are a problem.

A big one.

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