Dumbest Drudge Headline of Late

9 Comments

And there have been some doozies over the years.

If you haven’t heard from every Facebook post, every TV station, every radio broadcast, every bloody headline on every east coast website, it’s snowing!

Yes, it’s snowing. Fluffy, cold, white stuff is falling out of the sky, and it’s making people soil themselves.

Also if you haven’t heard from every commercial on both TV, radio and those incessant autoplay website ads (the owners of the sites that have those should be stabbed repeatedly with plastic sporks), tomorrow is also Valentine’s Day.

In commemoration of both, here’s Drudge’s headline this morning.

valentines day ruined

Really? A day created to boost sales of stupid greeting cards, jewelry, flowers and those ridiculous gigantic, $100 stuffed bears (anyone who gets me one of those will see that stupid thing dismembered and set on fire) is ruined because of snow?

The stupid is bold with this one.

You don’t need Valentine’s Day to celebrate your love for each other. You don’t need a greeting card holiday to show one another your love. You don’t need fancy dinners, jewelry and chocolate to prove your love on one day during the year. Frankly, if you need all those things, you might want to reconsider your relationship!

No, Valentine’s Day is not ruined. Snuggle in front of a fire. Light some candles. Have Chinese takeout picnic-style on your living room floor. Take a bath together. Watch a movie cuddled up on the couch – or in bed. Do what people do in bed.

You know for whom Valentine’s Day is ruined? For all those who hope to cash in on the vapid, shallow idea that you need one day a years to show someone that you love that you love them.

So Drudge, please shut up. You’re making me weep even more for humanity than I already do!

And while you’re trapped in the house watching the snow flakes fall outside, look at this happy fox.

America the Beautiful

22 Comments

I’m having trouble believing how many people out there are soiling their Depends at the absolutely beautiful Coca Cola ad that aired during the Super Bowl last night, celebrating the diverse cultures of one America. Really.

When the spot aired, my first reaction was, “Oh how gorgeous!” I not only love the song “America the Beautiful,” but to have it sung in different languages, while celebrating our one United States, I thought was a wonderful idea!

How can anyone not like this spot?

It celebrates the diverse cultures that is America.

It commemorates the numerous heritages of our great nation.

It shows a beautiful nation honored in various languages, by diverse backgrounds religions and nationalities (all united by the crass commercialism of a sugared, fattening soft drink, but hey… it’s a bit of Americana, right?).

How anyone could complain about this is beyond me, but complain they did.

Ken Barduca · Top Commenter
Way to totally destroy what could have been a good commercial. It is a disgrace. English is the language of America. Read it, write it, speak it, or go home. Don’t like my thoughts…. Don’t read em.
Reply · 140 · Like · Follow Post · Yesterday at 8:36pmDavid Ray · Waxahachie, Texas
Screw Coke! I’ll never drink another one.
Reply · 78 · Like · Follow Post · Yesterday at 9:03pm
screen shot 2014-02-02 at 9.38.54 pm

Really, people?

These have got to be some of the most ignorant things I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading! And as an immigrant to this country – one who does speak English, but has not forgotten her heritage or her native language – I’m embarrassed to be a citizen of the same nation as you!

Love for this nation does not preclude honoring one’s heritage and culture.

Respect for our country’s unity does not preclude speaking one’s own language in addition to English.

The ad is not offensive, and it’s certainly not divisive.

What, exactly, is divisive about singing a patriotic song in a different language – a song about the beauty of America – a song about the love for this country – a love held by every immigrant from every nation who came here looking for opportunities and freedoms?

What, exactly, is offensive about  expressing your love for this resplendent nation in your native tongue, while honoring her beauty?

And by the way…

“AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL” IS NOT OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM, YOU DROOLING, CRETINOUS, ILLITERATE DILDOS!

dumbass 1
dumbass 2
dumbass 4
And then there’s this douchenozzle.

dumbass 3

Thanks for making a beautiful ad, Coke!America is an amalgamation of different cultures and individuals who come together to form the greatest nation on earth – a nation built on the ideal that people of diverse backgrounds can come to a nation seeking freedoms and opportunities and create something beautiful.

The ad is a celebration of everything that makes us Americans.

The reactions are an unfortunate reminder that some people just need a remedial history class.

Egypt jails 3 for “unorganized protest”

3 Comments

The furor over some duck guy getting suspended from some network for some stuff he said in some magazine and Charlie Sheen‘s ridiculous threat… (WTF! What’s next, Alec Baldwin trying to resurrect his dead relevance by hypocritically condemning Duck guy’s comments?) has finally died down.

Meanwhile, in Egypt…

Three prominent Egyptian activists from the 2011 uprising that led to the fall of Hosni Mubarak have been sentenced to three years in jail.

Ahmed Maher, Ahmed Douma and Mohamed Adel were found guilty of organising a recent unauthorised protest.

They were arrested after protesting in November over a new controversial law that restricts demonstrations.

The move will deepen concern in Egypt about a growing crackdown on dissent, says the BBC’s Orla Guerin in Cairo.

Really? Ya think?

And we continue to send billions of dollars to Egypt, why?

It amazes me how many Americans bitch and moan about relatively mild things, claiming tyranny and screeching about taking up arms and hanging politicians from streetlights. Not that we have it perfect by any stretch, but as someone who came here from the former USSR, I’m pretty sure I know tyranny better than panty-shitting, Walter-Mitty wannabe warriors such as this, whose response to any government misdeed is to advocate the following:

I’d imagine stringing a few of them up might change their tune – and we’ll get to that point eventually. A place where these bastards and their goons are being hunted like dogs, and executed on sight. It won’t be a pleasant or happy time. Lots of good people and innocent people are going to die.

But it will be necessary to avert an even greater tyranny. Sadly. We should have been put a stop to this in the 70′s when it was possible peacefully. We didn’t.

Anyone who salivates at the prospect of violence and advocates murder as resolution for public officials who abuse their power as the first course of action has no place in polite society.

There are real problems going on in the world out there.

There are women getting forcibly mutilated so they don’t become sexually promiscuous.

There are rapists who are given little to no punishment for violating little girls.

There are political prisoners who spend years in prisons in the world’s shitholes for the crime of challenging the leadership.

There are people being deprived of their freedoms for organizing protests, and gays being jailed for life merely for being what they are.

There are wars in the Sudan and Syria.And yet, conspiritard sites like Infowars (no, I’m not providing a link to that lunacy) exist and have millions of readers, and we spent an entire week debating the First Amendment as it pertains to some guy voicing his opinions on gays, as if it was news, as well as dickweasels who advocate killing politicians for voting in favor of a shitty budget.

Khodorkovsky out of prison and in Germany

8 Comments

I wonder if, with all the Duck Dynasty NOTnews hysteria (because ZOMG! SOMEONESAIDSOMETHINGBADABOUTGAYSGAYSGOTUPSETSOMENETWORK
SUSPENDEDTHESOMEONEANDNOWEVERYONEHASTHEIRPANTIESINATWIST), anyone has any idea that today, a man who has spent 10 years in a Russian prison for the crime of standing up to Vladimir Putin, was pardoned by the same and allowed to escape to Germany.

Who?

Who is Mikhail Khodorkovsky?

The short version is that he was a Russian oligarch who had the balls to stand up to Vladimir Putin. He was a philanthropist and a self-made man. He was smart. He used his connections with the Komsomol (the USSR’s communist youth association) to start his own business, and made his way from a half-Jew living in a 2-room apartment in Moscow to Russia’s richest man.

But Khodorkovsky made one huge mistake. He crossed Vladimir Putin. Critical of the “managed democracy” Putin headed – a nation that uses the free markets when convenient, and allows them to exist, as long as they’re controlled by the few in power – Khodorkovsky publicly told The Times of London that Russia’s leadership was “the Singapore model, it is a term that people understand in Russia these days. It means that theoretically you have a free press, but in practice there is self-censorship. Theoretically you have courts; in practice the courts adopt decisions dictated from above. Theoretically there are civil rights enshrined in the constitution; in practice you are not able to exercise some of these rights.”

He publicly argued with Putin in a televised meeting about corruption in 2003. Putin was apparently happy to let him make his money, as long as he didn’t rock Putin’s boat of authority, but he’d apparently had enough.

Putin, a former officer of the K.G.B., was especially infuriated by Khodorkovsky’s attempt to negotiate independent deals with foreign partners. In the emerging system, widely known as Kremlin Incorporated, these were not the prerogatives of a private businessman. Putin had instructed the oligarchs that he would not question the origins of their lucre so long as they kept out of politics. And yet, in February, 2003, at a televised meeting at the Kremlin, Khodorkovsky sparred recklessly with Putin, challenging him on questions of government corruption, and implying that top state officials were pocketing millions in bribes. Privately, Putin told Lord John Browne, the former head of BP, “I have eaten more dirt than I need to from that man.”

You know what happened next?

You probably don’t, because you’ve been too busy over the past 10 years, watching reality TV, snorting at the antics of Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears, and more recently Miley Cyrus, and airing your masturbatory fantasies over the latest celebrity scandals.

Khodorkovsky was arrested on what appeared to be pretty spurious charges of tax evasion and fraud. He spent the next 10 years in prison, with new charges added on to his sentence, including the accusation that he stole 350 million tons of oil… from himself. His trials were, by all accounts, kangaroo tribunals. It took months just to read the initial charges against Khodorkovsky in a notoriously corrupt judicial system, in which his defense attorney now faces the Russian equivalent of disbarment for failure to defend her client effectively.

Bottom line: Khodorkovsky spent the decade in prison. Not in a nice, cushy prison, but a Russian one. A labor camp. And today, out of the blue, the man who basically said in the past that Khodorkovsky wouldn’t get out of prison as long as he was alive and in power, pardoned the political prisoner and allowed him to leave Russia to go to Germany.

So while many Americans whined about the Duck Dynasty guy’s “rights” being “violated,” because his employer chose to end the association with him, a guy who spoke out against Putin’s leadership and Russia’s corruption and was imprisoned for a decade was released today! What? You were too busy discussing why Duck guy’s vag>anus remarks were or were not offensive?

So why did Putin do it?

Here’s my 2 cents.

It is important to Putin to put Russia as a world power on the international stage – both militarily and politically. The G-20 summit was a chance to have world leaders come to St. Petersburg and show the world Russia’s cred. The Sochi Olympics are a similar venue. Putin wants the world there to give Russia legitimacy – not as the “Evil Empire” any longer, but as a legitimate world player.

Thanks to Russia’s odious anti-gay laws (GLAAD, you need to take note of REAL violations of gay and lesbian rights, not some Duck redneck spouting off), world leaders are giving Sochi the big middle finger. Sochi was to be a big step toward restoring Russia’s political glory, but now, the world is showing its disgust with what it perceives to be Russia’s human rights violations, and that’s not sitting right with Russia’s leadership.

Then there’s Khodorkovsky himself. He’s no longer a political threat to Putin. He’s not the vibrant, young guy who very publicly challenged Putin and garnered a significant political following. He’s not the richest man in Russia and doesn’t have the resources behind him to pose any kind of threat to the status quo. He’s a guy who has spent the last 10 years in a Russian work camp. He’s probably weakened physically and needs to recover.

So given the lack of threat, why not show magnanimity at a time when the world is turning away from Russia and release Khodorkovsky?  Why not surprise the world with good will and release the political enemy that has been languishing in Russia’s jail for a decade? Khodorkovsky cannot hurt Putin, and with his pardon, Putin can improve his own standing in the human rights arena and show his critics that he can, indeed, be a good guy! Just in time for Christmas.

A friend of mine and I speculated at work the other day that one of the conditions of Khodorkovsky’s release would be his immediate “exile” out of Russia. The last thing Putin needs is for Khodorkovsky to become a national icon – a martyr and constant reminder that he, Putin, violates human rights. His departure, we speculated, will ensure that the attention is on Putin – his benevolence toward his political enemies. Sure enough, the moment Khodorkovsky was released, he headed straight to Germany.

There had been talk of amnesty for a number of political prisoners for several years in Russia, and many had given up hope this mass amnesty would happen, but in the midst of harsh criticism of Russia’s onerous laws targeting homosexuals, the amnesty pardoning some 20,000 people cleared the Duma.

Things are going on in the world. Bad things. The 25th anniversary of the Lockerbie bombing that saw 270 people perish is being commemorated today.

Tensions are increasing between China and Japan.

Uganda passed a law that would imprison gays for life.

People are dying in the Central African Republic.

Thailand is teetering on the brink of civil war.

A shooting in the Manila airport in the Philippines has left four people dead.

And six more NATO troops died in an aircraft crash in Afghanistan a few days ago.

But by all means, continue to shit yourselves over perceived “human rights violations” in the words of the Duck Dynasty guy and A&E Network’s reaction to the interview. That’s much more important.

/sarc

Dear productive class, meet your REAL boss

19 Comments

I realized it has been a long while since I have whipped out a few F-bombs and C-bombs. Mostly, because I do think overusing them makes them lose their effectiveness, and I would rather convey actual  ideas and not distract from, but rather enhance, my fury with my sometimes salty language.

Sometimes my rage gets the best of me, and I cannot find words strong enough to express my utter and complete disdain and disgust for what I’m seeing and/or hearing. That’s when the invective comes out. This is one of those times.

The above is a warning to those of you who whine about my bad words. I know you’re out there. I’ve addressed your concerns and whining pedagogy before, so I’ll just tell you that the following will contain language that will make you soil your Depends. Therefore, if you’re easily offended, don’t read it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear productive, hard-working Americans,

Would you like to meet your boss?

No, I don’t mean the supervisor who gives you assignments, sometimes provides guidance and mentorship and rates your performance. I mean your REAL boss – the person for whom you work. The person for whom your supervisor works. The person who receives the fruits of your labor, not as profit and reward for what they have created, but as entitled parasites, who take advantage of you, who exploit your values and morals, who avail themselves of your hard work, and who steal from you by consistently voting for politicians who use government force to redistribute what you earn to those who couldn’t hope to match your achievement and skill, and who feel entitled to the results of said achievement and skill merely because they can.

That is your boss. Your boss is this odious, shitslurping cunt named Lucy.  Lucy is 32 years old and lives somewhere in Austin, TX. She and her three fuck trophies, along with her worthless, barely working spouse are the recipients of your tax dollars.

Your boss doesn’t understand why you bother working. After all, she gets to sit around the house all day, visit her friends and smoke weed. All at your expense! “…and we are still gonna get paid, on time every month,” she says. “Can you really blame us” for sitting around on welfare, she says? We get subsidized housing, she says. Our checks come on time every month come hell or high water, she says. Our kids even get gifts for Christmas, she says. Can you blame us?

And yes, this pestilent fuckmonkey savage also has an Obama phone, gets food stamps, gets subsidies for water and energy. Her husband doesn’t work very much, because he doesn’t see the need for it. And why should he? The system is there. It’s available. And Lucy has been on welfare her entire life, just like her parents. It’s a generational thing. Why should she work, when the government gives her nearly $1500 per month not to? Why should she make an effort, when the less she does, the more she gets?

This is your boss, America. This indolent, ignorant, entitled, cockmunching doucherocket, who has shit out three bloodsucking parasites who are also – judging by this family’s history – going to become drains on society. She feels no guilt, and she feels no remorse at being the beneficiary of your hard work, because it’s there.

She doesn’t care that the government steals your earnings, so she can sit around, smoke weed and be a drain on society, because it’s there.

She likes being a freeloading cum dumpster, because she can.

This is your boss, hardworking Americans. Take a good listen. This is the gonad-gobbling cuntwart for whom you work – not your supervisor, who ostensibly got his or her position after years of hard work, and not the owner of your company, and not even the person who needs a temporary leg up, who has lost employment, but is desperately trying to get back to work.

This. Is. Your. Boss.

And she’s happy and fat and stoned, squirting out future leeches to perpetuate the cycle of indolence and entitlement.

Doctors – aren’t you glad you struggled in college, medical school and your internships, so you could provide your knowledge and skill without being able to set a value to your own labor, so this oozing twatmold can lay a claim on your services and your tax dollars?

Entrepreneurs – aren’t you thrilled you sacrificed, scrimped, worked long hours, made a success of your business, so you could earn and achieve more for this assgobbling twunt’s pot habit?

To each and every one of you who worked hard in school, took risks, worked long hours, used your considerable determination and skill to get ahead – this jizz-shitting bag of fuck is getting your earnings and laughing at you with every check she receives and every joint she smokes and every bottle of booze she and her worthless pals guzzle.

And as long as the politicians who will create more laws to redistribute your earnings are allowed to return to their offices, she and her kind will continue to drain you of your lifeblood.

So keep voting for the same scum that will keep this asspig in front of the TV, smoking her dope and shitting out more crotchmonkeys.

And when you’re ready for a change, you’d better hope it’s not too late.

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