So we’ve read about kids getting suspended and expelled from school for having butter knives, drawing guns, pointing fingers menacingly and wielding chicken fingers in a threatening manner.

But this is a first! A three-year-old deaf boy forced to change the way he signs his name, because his name is…

Hunter.

A deaf preschooler in Grand Island, Nebraska, has been prohibited from signing his own name because school administrators believe the gesture he uses looks too much like a gun.

“He’s deaf, and his name sign, they say, is a violation of their weapons policy,” Hunter Spanjer’s father Brian told Channel 10/11.

The layers of stupid in this story are thicker than Chris Christie’s waistline!

Unsurprisingly, the school has a “strict zero-tolerance sense policy.” They claim they’re working with the parents on a compromise.

A COMPROMISE???

They want to stop a deaf child from using Signing Exact English to give his own name, because someone somewhere in this braindead administration has decided his little, tiny hands resemble those evil gun things used by mean men who kill Bambi’s mom when he signs his name, and they’re talking COMPROMISE???

Here’s your compromise, douchenozzles: you shut the fuck up, let the child sign his name, and stop soiling your collective diapers over nothing. Then you go away and never darken the sight of anyone with a shred of common sense ever again!

How’s that?