For those of you who didn’t know, I graduated from the Johns Hopkins university. Its hallowed halls once hosted such big names as actor John Astin, Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist for the New York Times PBS Masterpiece Theatre host Russell Baker, Wolf Blitzer, director Wes Craven, former US President Woodrow Wilson, and others.

By far, however, the biggest embarrassment to have been spawned from my alma mater is New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who graduated with a BS in engineering in 1964.

It’s not just that Bloomberg is the byproduct of wealth and privilege, who will grasp any opportunity to prove himself large and in charge. He loves his AUTHORITAH! He loves drawing attention to his desire to be big daddy. He will disarm, control and ultimately destroy free will in a city that was once a beacon of freedom and hope to millions of formerly oppressed people.

Now New York City has become merely a nanny state haven for the authoritarian douchebaggery of Michael Bloomberg. I’ve often imagined him sitting in a big, leather armchair, thinking up diktats to “improve” the lives of the peons he rules.

And of course, since they’re all disarmed, their only choice is to comply or get the hell out.

For those keeping count, Bloomberg has already banned salt, trans fats, sugared drinks and self-defense. But that’s apparently not good enough, because the dumb Great Unwashed™ couldn’t possibly be entrusted with their own health, and therefore, the next ban is on…

big containers of soda.

The city is working on a plan to ban large soft drinks and other sweet beverages in eateries, theaters and most other venues, City Hall announced Wednesday.

The new rules, which could take effect next March, would prohibit cups larger than 16 ounces of any liquid that contains more than 25 calories per 8 ounces. That targets sodas, sweetened ice tea and energy drinks. Diet sodas and milk-based beverages — even calorie laden milkshakes — will remain lawful.

“Obesity is a nationwide problem, and all over the United States, public health officials are wringing their hands saying, ‘Oh, this is terrible,’” Bloomberg told The New York Times. “New York City is not about wringing your hands; it’s about doing something.”

Let’s set aside the obvious problem of enforcement for a minute. After all, what’s to stop a citizen from getting a refill of fizzy goodness in their nanny state-limited cup? And how much time in jail would said guzzler serve for such a foul transgression?

Let’s focus on the following: WHAT GODDAMN RIGHT DOES THIS PANTY-SHITTING TURDSLURPER HAVE TO DICTATE WHAT PEOPLE EAT AND DRINK?

And why the fuck don’t the people of New York stand up to this rancid asshattery?  Do they like King Bloomtard controlling every aspect of their lives? Have they grown so lazy and apathetic that they prefer his “benevolent” tyranny over personal responsibility? Do they feel that wrinkled dick skin knows better than they do what’s good for them? Do they not care?

And then you have drooling retards like Fox’s Dr. Manny supporting his dicksuckery with his own brand of drooling despotism.

Personally, I think it’s about time. Despite the fact that I hate government regulating how we behave, this one makes a lot of sense to me.  For decades, the sizes of drinks and food have gotten out of proportion.

Foreigners who come as visitors are often amazed by the portions of the foods that we serve in comparison to the rest of the world.

And of course, the fault lies in ourselves, because we keep asking for more and more, and companies are more than happy to oblige and find interesting ways to sell more.  Often this involves making foods or drinks larger and even more fattening.

We’ve come to celebrate restaurants that glorify high-fat, nutritionally deficit foods.  Take the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas, for example, which features ‘Triple Bypass Burgers’, and has landed in the news more than once this year after customers collapsed while eating.

I’m all for a free market economy, but at what cost? 

Apparently Dr. Manny would rather have the state suppress free will, personal responsibility, personal choice, rational decisionmaking and the necessity of facing the consequences of one’s choices.

I have never encountered a more disgusting display of statist scumbaggery! I have never seen such blatant disrespect by the state for the people that put it into power!

Fuck you, Bloomberg!

And Fuck you, Dr. Manny!

I’ll make sure to have an extra large Coke just for this occasion and toast the loss of sanity, respect, accountability and liberty.

Assholes.