Virginia’s Republican primary will take place on June 13. There are four candidates vying for the chance to reclaim one of our Senate seats:

George Allen (of the “macaca” fame)

Jamie Radtke (of the Virginia Tea Party fame)

E.W. Jackson (of the S.T.A.N.D. fame)

And Bob Marshall (of the penis fame)

While I haven’t yet decided for whom I’ll cast my primary vote, I can tell you one thing – it will not be Bob Marshall.

It’s not because he happens to be a social conservative. I know plenty of those. They don’t bother me unless they try to shove their religiosity down my throat. But Marshall is a frothing fundamentalist fruitcake of the highest order.

This is the same Bob Marshall who fought to prevent single women from getting artificial insemination. Because, it’s apparently OK for him to stick his rather large, craggy proboscis up the vaginal canals and into the uteruses (uteri?) of Virginia’s women.

This is the same Bob Marshall who claimed that disabled children were divine retribution for abortion!

This is the same Bob Marshall who is so afraid of catching TEH GHEY™ that he attempted to prevent gay service members from serving in the Virginia National Guard by claiming that repeal of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy will erode morale and weaken recruiting and retention. Of course, Bob has never actually served in the military himself in any capacity, but apparently feels himself erudite and experienced enough to speak for the military.

Well, guess what. DADT repeal did not do a damn thing to upend, upset or otherwise hinder our military.

Not that Bob Marshall would care, because he’s so rationally upset at the thought of two people of the same gender spending their lives together and sleeping in one bed, that he will do anything and say anything to prevent this from happening.

His latest “victory” is his successful leadership of the effort to block an openly gay man from becoming a district judge, citing his concerns that Tracy Thorne-Bergland has a “pattern of behavior” as an activist for some radical gay agenda.

And what makes Bob Marshall say this?

Thorne-Bergland apparently came out of the closet while he was serving his nation in the military to challenge the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the military. He committed the heinous crime of challenging a policy that doesn’t even exist any longer.

Thorne-Bergland “would have been an outstanding judge,” according to his boss, Richmond Commonwealth’s Attorney Michael N. Herring.

Thorne-Bergland is a former fighter pilot, who had broad bipartisan support from the Courts of Justice Committee for the judgeship, who is raising twins with his partner, but he committed the egregious act of wanting to serve his nation. TO SERVE. TO RISK HIS LIFE TO PROTECT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES. Serve while he was gay.

This somehow translates to a violation of his oath to Bob Marshall, who is obviously unfamiliar with the oath we take when we join the military.

[Thorne-Begland] had to misstate his background in order to be received into the military in the late 1980s. There was a specific question, “are you a homosexual?” He had to say no. He took an oath of office which he had to defy. . . . 

Could Bob please tell us where in the holy flying fuck he sees “I do solemnly affirm that I will not plug another guy in the ass” in that particular oath?

I, [name], do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

The whole regulation on gays in the military didn’t even come about until the 1940s.  It’s not in the oath of either enlistment or the oath officers take when they join the armed services. It’s not a promise, a vow or an oath. It was a regulation – one that has now been invalidated.

Bob continued digging by claiming that “sodomy is not a civil right.”

But our right to our own bodies is. It’s basic. There’s no property more private or basic than the right to own one’s own body, and by extension to do with it as we please.

But besides, that the “sodomy is not a civil right” claim has already been decided by the Supreme Court. Whether Bob agrees with the decision or not, constitutionally, the court decided in Lawrence v. Texas that sodomy between consenting adults is constitutionally protected. If Bob claims to love and respect the Constitution as much as he claims, how is he blatantly and willfully ignoring a SCOTUS decision that happens to go against his personal beliefs? SCOTUS is, after all, the nation’s highest court of appeals.

I guess, Bob feels it’s OK to ignore the Law of the Land if it involves two guys doing the horizontal mambo in their own homes.

Bob Marshall doesn’t have respect for the Constitution, for personal rights or for the very basic right to control our own bodies. Does anyone really expect him to protect their rights in Washington?

So no. This drooling, ignorant cretin won’t be getting my vote. And if he, by some miracle, he manages to get the GOP nomination, I’ll gladly vote for Tim Kaine.