OK, I have to say this.


As a mom, I’m really kind of creeped out by this. Not that I don’t respect women who breastfeed. I do. There are very good reasons to do so.

It’s healthy.

It’s natural.

It’s easier for a baby to digest.

It’s a way to pass on antibodies.

I get it.

But when you have a kid who’s old enough to play little league, maybe – JUST MAYBE – that’s enough!

At that point, it’s no longer for the child. It’s for the mother.

It’s a way to keep a child attached and dependent on her.

It’s a way to boost the mother’s ego.

It’s an easy way out to quiet a fussy kid. He screams? Just shove a tit in his mouth!

It’s about the mother’s inability to let go and allow her child to develop and learn.

And for some mothers (yes, I know ones like this), it’s a way to avoid going back out into the world – a way to avoid working – a reason to stay at home. “Well, I can’t go out and get a job! My baby depends on me! I’m still breastfeeding!” Never mind, the kid is now taking karate lessons and going to school!

This chic attachment parenting bullshit has been making me crazy for years.

No, you don’t need to share your bed with your infant at night. He needs to learn to fall asleep on his own. He needs to develop a set schedule. And hell, you and your spouse/significant other need some damn time to yourselves as well. Trust me, you aren’t doing yourselves any favors by sharing your bed with your baby. Besides the risk of one of you rolling over and squishing him, you do need rest.

No, you don’t need to breastfeed a four-year old! He’s old enough to eat solid foods. He’s gotten about all he’s going to get out of your breast milk. At this point it’s about you, not about him!

Yes, you do need to allow your child to explore the world around him, without being constantly attached to you. That’s how they learn. That’s how they develop.

Yes, your precious punkin will survive if you don’t slather him in antibiotic gel and wrap him in bubble wrap! And no, you Munchhausen by Proxy-ridden hypochondriac – your kid isn’t fragile and sensitive to eggspeanutsglutenscornsyrupwhatevertheboogiemanofthedayhappenstobe, so stop treating him like he’ll break the moment he leaves your sight!

Seriously, folks. Some common sense please?

Yeah, I’m mom enough.

I am raising two intelligent, curious, courageous, independent, healthy children.

I’ve taught them common sense, logic, courtesy and personal responsibility.

Yes, I breastfed the Redhead, but I put him to bed when it was time, I set a schedule for him and I helped him become an independent human being.

Yes, I bonded with him. I sang him songs in a rocking chair at night before putting him in his bed. I played with him. I taught him how to do simple jigsaw puzzles when he was two years old.

But I didn’t force him to be dependent on me by keeping him attached to my breast until he could read.

I didn’t stroke my own ego by having a small human glued to me, vulnerable, with me as his security blanket and savior.

So yes, I’m mom enough.