There’s little in this world that pisses me off more than worthless sacks of smelly refuse impersonating heroes. These maggots are in line right behind those who abuse children, animals and the elderly. They impersonate service members for glory, or free stuff, or street cred, or an ego boost, but they either haven’t served, served but couldn’t hack it, or exaggerate their service in order to make themselves appear more glamorous.
The guys at This Ain’t Hell have done a great job exposing (and ridiculing) these losers. Some of these tools are just too ridiculous to exist! Some of them are just so pathetic, it’s painful to read. Some of them, like this obese bag of syphilitic cocks, are so foul, they would actually don a uniform and impersonate service members on Veterans’ Day to get free stuff. This is actually a guy I would like to find and curb stomp until there’s nothing left of him but an adipose stain. It’s tough for me to believe that anyone would mistake this gelatinous lardass for an actual member of the military – past or present – but he claims he gets free food. And from the looks of it, he eats it. By the metric fuckload.
And then there’s this sad bit of female flesh.
Apparently she’s a Lieutenant in the… sit down for this… SPECIAL FORCES!
Oh, yeah… this one’s a gem. Let’s forget for a brief moment that there are no women serving in the SF, no matter what that GI Jane movie tells you! But she’s apparently an XO or something – at least that’s what her job description is, according to specialoperations.com.
The Executive Officer (XO) plans and conducts training and operations in foreign internal defense, unconventional warfare, direct action, special reconnaissance, and (if specially trained) counter-terrorism. He advises the commander on all matters pertaining to task organization and preparation/execution of operation plans and contingency plans from higher headquarters. Formulates policies and procedures, and prepares and issues battalion operations orders. Supervises all aspects of the battalion collective training and certification program.
Does that sound familiar? Especially since she didn’t bother changing the tenses of her verbs to make herself sound at least somewhat legitimate.
united states amry
Lieutenant, Special Forces
I plan and conduct training and operations for foreign internal defense, unconventional warfare, direct action, special reconnaissance, and counter-terrorism. I advises the commander on all matters pertaining to task organization and preparation/execution of operation plans and contingency plans from higher headquarters. Formulates policies and procedures, and prepares and issues battalion operations orders. Supervise all aspects of the battalion collective training and certification programs.
A closer look at the profile suggests that she graduated Yale, and studied International Criminal Law. Impressive, isn’t she? Except apparently there is no International Criminal Law course of study at Yale. And I think… don’t quote me on this, because I’m not sure… but I think you actually have to be literate to attend Yale.
Wow. This one’s a peach.
She might be the first person DOJ arrests after lying on sites like Match.com and Facebook become crimes.
The law in question, the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, has been used by the Justice Department to prosecute a woman, Lori Drew, who used a fake MySpace account to verbally attack a 13-year old girl who then committed suicide. Because MySpace’s terms of service prohibit impersonation, Drew was convicted of violating the CFAA. Her conviction was later thrown out.
What makes this possible is a section of the CFAA that was never intended to be used that way: a general-purpose prohibition on any computer-based act that “exceeds authorized access.” To the Justice Department, this means that a Web site’s terms of service define what’s “authorized” or not, and ignoring them can turn you into a felon.
I’m not even going to delve into the irony of a DOJ that wants to prosecute idiots for lying on dating and social network sites, but thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to lie to Congress about funneling guns to Mexican drug cartels.
I realize this daft bint likely thinks her little game is harmless, but I see nothing harmless in impersonating heroism and claiming valor that does not belong to you.
And ferpetessake, at least learn to spell “Army!”
h/t: This Ain’t Hell