June 22, 2011
Just how disgustingly, nauseatingly, morbidly obese and gargantuan do you have to be to fit an entire mink coat in your underwear? Granted, it was a “short” mink coat, but it’s still a COAT! An entire coat! In her bloomers!
A 46-year-old woman has pleaded guilty to stealing a mink coat from a Twin Cities store and then hiding the coat in her underwear.
For three days.
And now for the juvenile in me…
You knew this was coming…
So just sit back and enjoy the ride…
When it was finally retrieved, did it smell like beaver?
June 21, 2011
funny Comments Off on Yes, I’m immature
And yes, I got a perverse pleasure from saying the word “Weiner” several times daily and making myself giggle.
Don’t judge me!
June 18, 2011
I came to this country in 1980 with my family. I was just a kid, but my parents’ first priority was to teach me English and learn English themselves, so they could find employment and become productive members of the American society. They came here legally – after a long journey from the USSR, through Austria and Italy, having filled out reams of paperwork and paid a lot of money to be allowed to come to this country.
Now, meet this cockbag. He’s been in this country nearly as long as my parents and I have. And for some reason, he hasn’t felt he needed to learn the language. He was busy agitating against Americans’ insistence that immigrants come here legally, pay taxes and become productive members of society, instead of sneaking across the border, working for cash, putting a strain on our infrastructure and committing crimes.
Antolin Aguirre of the Austin Immigrant Rights Coalition was testifying against Senate Bill 9 that would help crack down on illegal immigrants in Texas. Aguirre spoke through an interpreter even though he had been in the U.S. since 1988.
Two minutes into Antolin Aguirre’s testimony, Sen. Chris Harris, a Republican from Arlington, interrupted asking Aguirre’s interrupter, “Did I understand him correctly that he has been here since 1988?” Harris asked. “Why aren’t you speaking in English then?”
Through his interpreter, Aguirre said Spanish is his “first language and since it is his first time giving testimony he would rather do it in Spanish.”
“It is insulting to us,” Sen. Harris fired back. “It is very insulting. And if he knows English, he needs to be speaking in English.”
Bravo, Senator Harris!
This Antolin Aguirre guy has been in the United States for 23 years. He’s a business owner in Texas, so apparently he knew enough English to establish himself in this society, raise a family, open a business and even agitate on behalf of illegal aliens. But he doesn’t feel it necessary to speak the language of this country in front of an elected body. It’s not that he can’t. He won’t.
He came to this country, took advantage of the opportunities America afforded him, made a life for himself, but apparently felt he didn’t have to respect his elected representatives by speaking to them in the language overwhelmingly spoken in this country and used for official proceedings.
Speak English, dildo!
June 14, 2011
You should know this next time a guy wielding a dead weasel busts into your home looking for his girlfriend (who must be obviously desperate and ugly if she would actually consider dating a guy who assaults strangers with dead weasels), so you can ensure you use the proper nomenclature when you ask him what the flying fuck he’s doing attacking you while carrying a dead weasel.
Police say a man was carrying a dead weasel when he burst into an apartment and assaulted a man in Washington state.
The victim asked, “Why are you carrying a weasel?” Police said the attacker answered, “It’s not a weasel, it’s a marten,” then punched him in the nose and fled.
The attacker was apparently looking for his girlfriend and had gone to her former boyfriend’s apartment Monday where the victim was a guest.