I seem to remember growing up in a little place called the Soviet Union. For those of you who don’t know, that little place was run by communists. And for those of you who don’t know what life was like there, I can describe it in a single word: SHITHOLE.
I remember having no toilet paper. Only those with special connections could get toilet paper. My aunt could. Sometimes. The rest of the time, you wiped your ass with wadded up Pravda, which is really all that rag is good for anyway.
My parents would send me to the store for milk. It was rationed. I received four bottles, and because the sack I used to carry the milk back from the store had a hole in it, and one of the bottles of milk slipped through and fell to the ground, shattering. We couldn’t get any more. My parents were pissed. I was happy. I never liked milk much.
I remember parties. The height of opulence was having vodka and sardines for your friends when they came over. Sometimes you even got some ingredients for a charming salad Olivier. Sans chicken. You’d use gross bologna as a substitute. Rotten potatoes. And pickles. We put pickles in everything.
We didn’t have shit, but neither did anyone else (except those with connections). So we were all equally miserable (except for those with connections).
And now, the communists want to bring back those heavenly days of bliss and equality. They claim the current Russian government has ruined the Russian economy… as if they can do better.
Russia’s Communist Party is to hold nationwide rallies on April 4 to
call for the government to step down over what it calls a failure to
deal with the economic crisis, the party’s deputy head said on Monday.
Ivan Melnikov, who is also a member of Russia’s lower house of
parliament, said the government’s anti-crisis measures “were either
ineffective or were carried out in the interests of a small circle of
Ummm… because the communists never did anything that benefitted a small group of individuals during their reign, right?
Russia has been hard hit by the global financial crunch that was
sparked by the subprime mortgage crisis in the United States last
summer and quickly spread to the rest of the world. Unemployment is up,
and the ruble has lost about 40% of its value. The economic slump has
also seen a drastic decline in oil prices, Russia’s most important
Yep, the global economic crisis is ALL our fault, and so is Russia’s shitty economic situation. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that their economy is completely dependent on oil and natural gas and based their entire spending plan on the premise that oil and natural gas prices would remain obscenely high, as they were during the summer of 2008. Granted, external demand for Russian exports is also plummeting thanks to the global economic downturn, but when you put all your eggs in one basket in a blind devotion to a single line of exports to prop up your entire economy, what the hell do you expect?
I remember telling a politics professor at Johns Hopkins – in reply to her euphoric pronouncements about the fall of the Berlin Wall – that I fully expected history to repeat itself and the communists to assume power again after a couple of decades of failed crony capitalism. She disagreed. I argued. She gave me a “C.”
We’re not there… yet.