I have an admission to make.  I love - no, I mean LOVE - Facebook!  It's just one of those things.  It allows me to keep in touch with numerous friends from Kosovo - people with whom I was deployed, and whom I don't get to see very often.  I've found friends from high school and college with whom I haven't spoken for 15-20 years.  I've established new connections, and yes... I've gotten my ass kicked in Scrabble on occasion by Frank.  Having this type of social networking tool makes the long distance thing a lot easier to handle.

Facebook has a lot of fun applications, games and quizzes.  And to me, it really is an invaluable tool.  I've found that in the past 3-4 years, I've lost touch with a lot of people I cared about.  It was unintentional.  I just wound up having one person in my life on whom I depended for everything, who was the center of my social life, and with whom I spent the majority of my time (family not included), pushing everyone else to the periphery.  Having let go of that toxicity, I realized just how much I've missed the friends I had.  I don't have a lot of close friends, but I have some, and it's great to be back in touch with them.

As I've mentioned before, however, the freedom, convenience and fun of Al Gore's greatest invention comes with a downside.  Yes, there are those who spend their lives on the Intertubez, ignoring family, friends, their health, their jobs (OK, what the hell am I doing on the Interwebz again?) and their "real" lives.  Cyber affairs sometimes ruin relationships.  Cyber lives sometimes take over at the expense of reality, and cyber bullies sometimes make people's lives not so pleasant.

The father of a teenage girl says in a lawsuit that a cyber bully so unnerved her with online taunts that she ended up admitted to a mental health clinic.

[...]

The suit seeks reimbursement for medical expenses in excess of $25,000 and asks that a judge order the Internet social network Facebook and Web portal Live.com to provide information about who sent the messages.

I feel for people who are the victims of bullying - real life or otherwise.  It sucks.  I've been through it.  Trust me when I tell you that being beaten up, pinched, forbidden from using the bathroom just so they can laugh as you cry holding it in, and insulted for being a Jew in the former Soviet Union (by your TEACHERS, no less, as well as other kids) is no fun.  Makes school miserable.  Especially since in those days there was no recourse, especially not for a little Jewish kid stuck in the USSR.  I know bullying. 

I also remember fighting back ferociously against my tormentors.  My mother loves telling the story of how she arrived late to pick me up from kindergarten, and couldn't find me on the playground, so she grabbed the teacher, and together they found me under the building (it was one of those that was raised high on some thick columns with sand underneath) sitting on top of some kid and beating the shit out of him.  There's only so much taunting I would take, even as a small kid.

For cyber-bullying, there's an even easier solution.  Ready?  I'm going to tell you what it is.

TURN OFF THE BLEEDIN' COMPUTER, SPARKY! 

Instead of suing social networking sites for the misdeeds of other asshats, how about some good ole fashioned monitoring of the kid's Internet activities?  How about pulling her away from the computer and forcing her to go outside for some real human interaction?

I'm not being mean or insensitive when I say this.  I've been there, and done that.  I have passwords to my kids' MySpace accounts, and I do log on to ensure nothing stupid happens.  And mostly, I limit their computer time, force them to go outside and play with real children their own age, and establish enough trust in our relationship that they feel comfortable telling me if there's a problem.

It's not a difficult solution to implement!  The fact that this daddy dearest had so little interaction with his kid that he allowed the bullying to get to the point where she had to be institutionalized speaks poorly of his parenting skills, not of Facebook!

The girl in the case Jacobson filed had already undergone outpatient treatment for 22 days in June and July for a psychiatric condition characterized, in part, by an obsessive relationship with a teenage boy, the suit said.

Someone using the fictitious name "Jennifer Litzinger" then created the Facebook account "for the purpose of creating a purported rival" for the boy's affections, the suit alleges.

[...]

The lawsuit says "Litzinger" used a photo "of a well-endowed and attractive model or actress of the approximate age of 20 to 22 obtained over the Internet as her profile photograph so that (the victim), an ordinary attractive 16-year-old, would feel inferior to her purported rival with respect to her physical attractiveness."

You don't say!  Someone on a social networking site actually uses a fake photo to appear more attractive to prospective mates?  How shocking!  It must be immediately made a crime!  You don't say!  Teenage girls sometimes get engaged in boyfriend drama?  Well!  There's cause for a lawsuit right there!

The suit also says that on the day before the teen was to finish outpatient treatment in July, she got multiple communications from "Litzinger." Those said "Litzinger" had been talking and texting with the boyfriend every day and night, was more attractive than the teen, and that the teen "looked like a troll" and had "a worthless life."

According to the suit, "Litzinger" knew the teen "would be severely emotionally distressed by the statements."

And there's your catchphrase.  "Emotional distress."  You see, we've become a society of such limp-wristed emotional cripples, that feeling good about ourselves has somehow become a right, and anyone who hurts our precious little feelings gets either criminally prosecuted or hauled into civil court.  Worse yet, because we're a society of self-entitled, overly-litigious simians, we won't bother suing unless there's cash to be had, and a pathetic loser who creates an Internet persona just to be mean to a high-school romantic rival will probably not have the kind of financial resources that will satisfy our lust for revenge, self-entitlement and cash.  So what's an enterprising daddy to do?  Why sue the company that provided the platform for the "harrassment" that made his precious, overly emotional crotchfruit all weepy-eyed and sniffly, of course!  Just follow the money.  You'll see where it leads.

And what is the message he's sending?

If someone hurts our pwecious widdle feewings, we're entitled to compensation.

Bruised egos and insecurity can be worth money.

Parents don't need to exhibit any kind of control or responsibility over their offspring.  If something goes wrong, it's not their fault, and they can get handsomely compensated for their lack of parental action and accountability.

This is the type of bullshit that forces companies out of business, whether it's Internet companies or gun dealers.  Suing businesses out of existence by filing frivolous charges has become en vogue in our society.  After all, it's easier than working, and well... the industry can afford it.

What's going to be left to loot once you've picked the carcass clean, you twisted freaks?