The Communist Party of St. Petersburg is kind of like the Phelps crew… or the Greens

1 Comment

Except they’re funnier, but just as stupid.

Remember a few months ago when the Commies got all insulted about the last Indiana Jones flick portraying the Russians as bad guys, because, apparently, nothing happened between the time they helped kick Hitler’s ass and September 11, 2001, so painting them as evil was just revisionist history meant to promote the imperialist ideals of the capitalist dogs?

Well, they’re at it again!  Apparently the new Bond movie is insulting.



Bond girls often come to a sticky end but Olga Kurylenko will be hoping that the Communists never get hold of her.


Kurylenko, the Ukrainian actress who plays Bond’s sidekick in Quantum of Solace, has been condemned by the Communist Party of St Petersburg for aiding “the killer of hundreds of Soviet people and their allies”. Apparently oblivious to Bond’s fictional nature, it accused her of assisting “a man who worked for decades under the orders of Thatcher and Reagan to destroy the USSR”.


In an appeal to the actress on its website, the party said: “The Soviet Union educated you, cared for you and brought you up for free but no one suspected that you would commit this act of intellectual and moral betrayal.”

Yeah!  God hates fags… um… no, we mean God hates capitalist pigs… oh wait!  We’re godless communists, and we don’t believe in God!   OK, there’s a capitalist conspiracy against us, and if Kurylenko consents to bringing co-star Daniel Craig in for some interrogation… um, no, we mean light questioning and martinis by the Russian Secret Cervix… um… I mean Service, we’re willing to forgive her treachery against the ideals of Lenin and torture and gang rape her in a Russian detention center, cause she’s a hottie… no, um… we mean rehabilitate her! 

See, apparently she was brainwashed by the evil Bush/Halliburton/Cheney/Rove cabal, and Daniel Craig is apparently in possession of highly classified information about plans that are currently in the works at the Pentagon and Hollywood “to discredit Russia and drive a wedge between the Russian and Ukrainian peoples.”

I can’t decide if the Greens, the Phelps douchebags or the Commies of St. Petersburg are more ludicrous, but HOTDAMN! they’re fun to watch!

What, ALREADY?

Comments Off

It’s not even Election Day yet, and already a horde of ravenous lawyers has descended upon Floruduh like a plague of locusts onto the last remaining bush in a desert.  I guess they’re expecting more clueless Floriduh residents to a) not know for whom they voted or b) claim they voted for Obama, and then assert their vote was surreptitiously changed by the evil Bush/Halliburton/Cheney/Rove cabal to reflect a Republican vote.

But it’s all for the good of the voters and to protect the integrity of our electoral system!  Really!  Oh stop laughing!


One reason so many lawyers have been deployed… is to assemble any evidence of irregularities in voting or tallying that could be used in court.  (The assumption being that there will be “irregularities,” because the Rethuglicans are desperate for a win)

[…]

On Tuesday, an estimated 5,000 lawyers and law students supporting Obama will fan out across Florida to monitor polling sites and assist voters, especially in minority, elderly and heavily Democratic precincts. The volunteers supporting Obama will be wearing baseball caps tinted Democratic blue.  (Because, as you well know, the evil Bush/Halliburton/Cheney/Rove cabal footsoldiers will be out en masse to disenfranchise anyone voting for the Anointed One ™)

“The object is to make sure that every voter, Republican and Democrat alike, who shows up at the polls on Election Day is able to vote,” said Broward attorney Charles Lichtman, in charge of Florida Democrats’ legal effort. “We’re there to problem-solve, not to litigate.” (Translation: The object is to make sure that every member of the disenfranchised minority, victim-of-the-month club can file a complaint about being disenfranchised by the evil Bush/Halliburton/Cheney/Rove cabal and that any Rethuglican leanings are immediately attributed to disenfranchisement of the minorities by the evil Bush/Halliburton/Cheney/Rove cabal.)
Goodness, but I love election season!

The Republican bloodsuckers are claiming that the high profile presence of the Democrat bloodsuckers could serve to intimidate voters into voting for Obama, when, in fact, they came into the polling place to cast a vote for McCain.  I don’t think they really need to worry.  Six percent of these morons had no idea for whom they voted in the first place.  I doubt they can be intimidated.  Bribed with a glass of milk, a chocolate chip cookie and the promise of a nap, maybe, but I doubt they have enough sense to be intimidated.

Meanwhile, the Democrat bloodsuckers are claiming the measure requiring identifying information on new voter registrations to match government records could be a disenfranchisement attempt by the evil Bush/Halliburton/Cheney/Rove, so they want to make sure everyone casts a vote for Obama like good little sheep… no, I mean elects the Lightbearer like they all WANT to do!  REALLY!

Both camps claim actual lawsuits will be the last resort. 

And rabid monkeys might fly out of my ass on national television…

I’m sorry, but you’re a racist

9 Comments

OK, I’m sorry, but what the FUCK????

If I don’t vote for Obama, I’m a racist.  If I vote for Obama, I’m only doing it because he’s half white, and I’m STILL a racist!

Why, you ask?

Because the psychotic Charles Ogletree, who sees racism around every corner and under every white sheet (I’m betting his bedding is a nice shade of chocolate), says so!  See, apparently Obama is “biracial,” which means that his parents had sex, even though one of them was several shades darker than the other.  Obviously the little darker squigglers did the 100 yard freestyle up Obama Mama’s (otherwise known as the “other” Madonna) cavernous twat, penetrated the awaiting white ovum and VOILA!  A little biracial Marxist was born!

You think I’m being a bit over the top here?  Well, hell!  If Ogletree is going to call me a racist, no matter what, I might as well oblige!

Oh, and according to Hans Bader, this pernicious piece of oozing excreta could become the Assistant Attorney General in Charge of the Civil Rights Division if Obama assumes office in January.

It really bothers me that I’m so angry.  I normally don’t notice the color of someone’s skin. When I meet someone, their skin color doesn’t even cross my mind.  The use of the “N” word pisses me off beyond belief!  But because I refuse to cast a vote for someone who is nothing more than a glorified thief, who wants to relieve me of my earnings and give them away to people who couldn’t match them – someone I consider inexperienced and vapid, and because he just happens to be black, I’m automatically a bigot. 

I could care less what color Obama is, but when he surrounds himself with bigots such as Jeremiah Wright, supporters such as Laura Washington and this Ogletree asshole, he shows himself to be more concerned with race than I am.  And that concerns me!

Shock of his life

5 Comments

I’m loving this. Guy puts up McCain/Palin sign in his yard. Sign gets repeatedly stolen by the ever so tolerant followers of the Lightbearer. Guy just happens to be an engineer, so he rigs the sign to shock anyone who tries to paw it. Oh… and he records the incident! Shitty little kid with Obama sign tries to switch out the political statement, and gets the shock of his life!

But what makes me angry is that the kid’s father decides to confront the property owner about the shock treatment! Seriously!  If you don’t teach your kids that stealing someone’s property – even as a political statement – is STEALING, how the hell could you NOT expect them to deal with the consequences of their actions?  And really… How can you possibly get angry at a guy for protecting his property from your rotten crotchfruit?

Empty, pointless gesture still free

2 Comments

Camden County police melt down hundreds of guns at a *shhhhhhh!  Be vewwy vewwy quiet!* super secret location (probably involving a naked dance ritual in which they roll around in the blood of victims who didn’t have any means of defending themselves).

I can think of several ways these weapons could be useful, including selling them at a discount to law-abiding citizens who may not be able to afford them and maybe making a bit of a profit to help the department.  But hey, what do I know…

300 guns sold at a discount to people who may not otherwise be able to afford a tool of self defense at… say… $100/piece = $30000 (Thank you to Angry Patriot for pointing out the obvious:  that I can’t type or even think when I have a small Redhead hanging on my arm!) profit for the department

Worthless gesture of melting them down as a symbol of victory against the evil piece of metal = still free.

How to quickly piss me off

2 Comments

Rachel blogged about this already, but it pissed me off so badly, that I had to say something about it too.

Police dogs are considered equipment.

An injury
retired Longmont Police K-9 Izzy suffered in April 2007 while fighting
with a suspect now requires surgery that could cost his handler $6,000.

The Longmont Fraternal Order of Police this week opened an account for
Izzy’s surgery with $500 and is now asking residents to help out.

“He worked for us for nine years and he did a lot of good work in those
nine years,” said Detective Steve Schulz, president of the LFOP.

Detective Bruce Vaughan, Izzy’s handler, said when the dog retired the
city stopped paying for his care because technically working animals
are equipment. Although Izzy suffered his injury working, the
veterinary bills are no longer covered.

I know I’ve been criticized here before for ascribing morality to animals, but hear me out here.  Animals are live beings.  They feel pain.  They work.  They love unconditionally.  They bring joy.  They comfort.  And they protect and serve – sometimes better and more effectively than their handlers. 

They may not have morality as defined by humans, but you know what?  Neither do many humans!  Especially those who won’t help live creatures in pain!  Local governments spend resources on all sorts of bullshit projects!  I know.  I used to cover Winchester City Council and Frederick County Board of Supervisors meetings for WINC when I was a reporter!  I’m amazed that the city won’t put aside one of its stupid, petty projects and help Izzy – a creature who worked his tail off for them and asked for little in return!  It’s pathetic!

But he’s not a live, suffering creature to them.  He’s merely friggin’ EQUIPMENT!  As Rachel wisely points out, “I can’t believe they classify retired K9 officers as equipment. That really chaps my hide, it does. Equipment is something you can just throw away when you’re done with it. Not a dog.”

They don’t have PayPal or any other kind of automatic system of payment, or I bet they’d get the funding quickly.  But they do have an address you can send donations to.  I know times are hard for many of us, but please – if you can spare anything – please help this dog!

Donations for the surgery can be made to FOP No. 6 K9 Fund in care of Guarantee Bank and Trust, P.O. Box 1159, Longmont 80502.

There are times when I believe in a higher power more than others

4 Comments

I’m generally agnostic, even though I do have Pagan leanings.  I’m spiritual without being religious, but there are times when the deities do reveal themselves.

My friend Mike is currently deployed to Afghanistan.  He’s an Orthodox priest and an Army Reserve chaplain, who was also deployed with us to Kosovo.  No one can say he doesn’t get around.  (OK, how often can you say that about a priest?!  It had to be said!)

Well, today a homicide bomber, otherwise known as one of Allah’s Assholes (thanks, Misha!) decided to take himself out of this existence during a meeting in the information and culture ministry in Kabul.  Unfortunately, this particular camel fucker took five other people with him.


The insurgent Taliban movement claimed responsibility for the attack in a telephone call with AFP, saying it had been carried out by three men – two of whom had escaped – and was aimed at “foreign experts”.
Well, Mike was one of those “foreign experts,” apparently.  Luckily, I just got an email from him, and he’s safe, although he says his ears are ringing from this morning.

When I was deployed to Kosovo and my festering yambag of an OIC (we called him Homer, because he reminded us of Homer Simpson) would piss me off so badly, I’d have to go outside, and smoke a Marlboro just to calm down, Mike would say something funny that would make me giggle, and the pissed offedness (yes, I just made that up) would subside.  One day, when I was particularly angered by Homer’s douchebaggery, he stepped out on the porch where I was passionately puffing away and asked, “You know how I know God exists?”

I gaped at him like a monkey doing a math problem, because he’s a priest.  He’s SUPPOSED to know that God exists.  I didn’t think he had actual justification.  “Um… how?”

He grinned at me and said, “Because he’s here, where he can do relatively little damage, and not in Iraq getting people killed with his stupidity.”

I laughed.  Mike always made me laugh.

Mike’s escaping unscathed, save for a little ear ringing, is almost enough to convince me of the existence of a deity.

Whew!

Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: